Perks & Wallflowers
by fuckyeahitsauslly
Summary: Ally Dawson is a 16 year old introvert singer/songwriter. She copes with her mother's death, anxiety, and guilt but wants to break out of her shell and experience the real world. She's finally encouraged when she meets new friends and a certain outgoing boy named Austin, who gives her the chance to stand out and break down her walls. Based off of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One 

_Dear Song Book, _

_My name is Ally Dawson and I'm sixteen and I refuse to go to counseling. I cannot look into a stranger's eyes and tell them all my problems, doubts, fears, and the truth. _

_Every week I put on a bigger smile and told her everything she wanted to hear and she believed it. Until the day I broke down screaming and crying. _

_After that I didn't go and I was stubborn enough to convince my dad. He agreed and the therapist had no other chose but to listen to him. She ended up giving me this brown leather journal with a letter A on it._

_She said she understood how talking to a stranger may be uncomfortable for some people but I needed to get my thoughts out fully without lies in a healthy way._

_I want to start off with talking about my mother. She's my rock, uh, was my rock. Every morning she'd wake me up and tell me to think of the perks in every situation and I did. _

_She encouraged me everyday to pursue my dreams. I'm a singer/song writer but even then I had stage fright. The difference is now I can't play in front of anyone, including my father which I know hurts him but he understands._

_I have many regrets but I'm sure most normal people do too. My biggest regret is not going to my mother's funeral even though I believe I didn't deserve it. I still don't. _

_Right now I'm in the backseat of my father's car. He's driving us to our new house in Miami and we're almost half way there. Its three hours away from our last house. _

_He already has me registered at Marino High School despite me telling him continuing home schooling was best. He kept pointing out that I haven't talked to anyone or kept in touch with my friends after the incident with my mother._

_And honestly I'm terrified. I haven't been to a regular school and sat in a regular classroom since the eight grade. I'll be entering my junior year but most importantly, entering my first day of high school ever._

_I'm trying to figure out how it's possible I'm both happy and sad. I really want to be able to breathe again and feel free. _

_When people say there are butterflies in their stomach, they usually do whatever it is that scares them. Being on a first date, being nervous about a first kiss, or even something simple like a rollercoaster are all times butterflies start to flutter in people's stomachs. _

_That's where I differ from normal people. I let that butterfly stop me because I tend to overanalyze and that butterfly turns into butterflies and then anxiety in a matter of a few seconds. I want to be normal. _

_And so I am. I stopped begging to be homeschooled and agreed to start at the high school, I have to anyways because my dad is just as stubborn as me but at least this way it's something we both want. _

_There's just one problem with everything. I'm motivated but the encouragement from just my dad isn't enough to help me participate in life. And that's when I'm sad again._

_My father keeps sneaking glances at me through the mirror and I know he's thinking of pressuring me to sitting in the passenger side but I can't. I'm not ready and I wish he knew that. It took me a while to even get back in a car but I'm glad he's not saying anything. _

_This will also be my song journal whenever lyrics or a melody pops into my head so sometimes it won't be so nice and organized, just scribbled somewhere random._

"_Sha la la la la  
Sha la la la la_

_You used to call me your angel  
Said I was sent straight down from heaven  
You'd hold me close in your arms_

_I loved the way you felt so strong  
I never wanted you to leave  
I wanted you to stay here holding me"_

_That's all I have so far. Lately I haven't written one song because I'd get these short lyrics and no inspiration to finish them. _

_My father interrupted me by telling me we're here and I see the house for the very first time. It's beautiful even though it's not fixed up like the other houses on the street, but nevertheless I still like it._

_I'm in my room now and it's a fairly descent size. It's a two story house even though there are only two people now living here. My room has a balcony and the view is beautiful. I can see through the couple of blocks and the beach shore._

_I should get some sleep, tomorrow is my first day and I'd like to make a difference. I hope I don't have any trouble sleeping tonight. _

_Thinking of the perks, it's a fresh start so no one will know my story when I walk pass them. No judgmental stares. I have a feeling this move will be good for me. _

_Ally_

**Thoughts? Should I continue? The more reviews the faster I update! Sorry if there are mistakes, I usually write really late in the night and I'm tired so I don't catch every mistake but the night is when my creativity comes so shush q: lol**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_Dear Song Book,_

_First period hasn't even started yet and I'm already disappointed in myself. Before I fell asleep last night I promised myself I wouldn't count or imagine the last day of school. _

_The first thing I did when I walked through the hall was imaging everyone on the last day of school. In my head everyone was cheering, cleaning out their lockers, and then the talk about some random party that's happening on the beach. Going on about who they were going to hook up or how drunk they were going to get._

_Where was I in my imagination? Walking down the hall in the opposite direction towards the exit but it was time to change that._

_I tried imagining myself talking with those random kids about some random beach party but the best I could do was imagine myself standing next to them smiling awkwardly. _

_The bell just rang so I should probably pay attention now. _

_Ally_

"How are my students today?" A short girl mocked the teacher as students came pilling in.

Despite her height she looked a bit older so I guessed she was a senior. I'm just glad she decided to make fun of the teacher rather than the new girl who was already seated before the teacher was even in the class.

"I'm oh so glad all of you guys chose ceramics for your elective because everyone needs about a thousand vases in their room?" She continued as kids laughed and I chuckled softly to myself.

"In my class again, Trish?" The teacher walked in. "When will you pass? Keep reaching for that C minus. It's your last chance." He said confirming my assumption of it being her last year of high school.

Trish laughed and sat down shrugging. "A couple more vases in my room wouldn't hurt." She said sarcastically with a smile on her face.

"Where will I sit you this year?" The teacher said looking around the room. As he scanned the room we made eye contact for a split second before I looked away shyly. "Next to the quiet one."

I didn't have to look up to know he was pointing at me. And a label already? That has got to be a record.

"I'm Trish." She said shaking my hand sitting down.

"Ally." I replied as she nodded.

"Have a last name, Ally?" She asked smiling bright. She was really out going and not shy at all, very talkative but in a nice way.

"Dawson." I answered.

"Nice. You look like you're a freshman." She said as I felt myself blush.

"Junior." I corrected her as her eyes widened in amusement.

"Skip a few grades?" She asked.

"Yes, actually. Just one." I said mentally high fiving myself for opening up even a little.

"Impressive." She said before the teacher glared at her.

"You even got the shy one to talk in a matter of a seconds. I'm serious, Trish. No talking in my class and pay attention." He said as she rolled her eyes.

"And you." He said looking me dead in the eye.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

"No talking when I'm giving a lecture. This is your final warning and if you keep it up both of you girls get detention." He said and I nodded. "Understand?"

"Yeah." I said nodding and he turned around to hand out some papers.

"So, you're new right?" Trish asked and I nodded not wanting a detention.

"Where did you transfer from?" She asked as the teacher turned around sighing.

"Trish. Move your desk and set it right next to mine." He said tapping his foot as she did what she was told muttering things under her breath as the kids near by laughed.

"You." He said looking back at me. "Name?"

"Ally Dawson." I said ignoring everyone's stares at me.

"I'm letting this one slide." He said. "Now, let's back to lesson one."

After class I tried catching up to Trish in the hall but her class was on the other side of the school and I didn't want to be late to my next class. Luckily, I spotted her in the hall getting books from her locker at lunch.

"Trish." I smiled walking up to her locker.

"Ally, hey! How's it going?" She asked.

"Great." I said smiling and there was a bit of an awkward pause.

"First period is just the greatest, isn't it?" She joked sarcastically.

"The teacher is pretty fun." I laughed a little adding on to her sarcasm.

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble." She sad frowning.

"No, it's fine." I said assuring her not to feel bad.

"Less than five minutes within the class before getting in trouble. I think it's my personal best." She joked shrugging. "Are you going to Friday's foot ball game next Friday?"

"No, actually." I said.

"I'm not really into football games but me and my friends figured it's the first game so why not?" She said slamming her locker. "Well I gotta go, my friends are waiting. It was nice talking to you." She smiled walking away.

She didn't realize we were both going to the cafeteria so to make things a little less awkward, I waited ten minutes before making my way. I bought lunch but had no plan on eating so I grabbed my song book out of my bag.

_Dear Song Book, _

_Trish smiled bright when I walked up to her and I did the same. I just hoped she didn't think she was going to be stuck with the new girl following her everywhere. She apologized for getting me in trouble and asked if I was going to the football game._

_I wanted to say yes but I found myself shaking my head. I wasn't sure if it was an invitation or just a conversation starter anyways. _

_I feel a bit sad because she excused herself saying her friends were waiting for her but it was nice talking to me. I felt like I was bugging her so I decided I should probably lay low from now on. _

_Ally _

**Review please omg lol cause I feel stupid when no one does. Don't worry, Ally won't be laying low for to long…Auslly baby c:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Ally's POV**

_Dear Song Book,_

_I'm feeling sad again. It's been two weeks since my first day of school. It's lunch right now and I'm by myself not bothering to touch my food even though my stomach is growling. I don't have an eating disorder but some days I'm simply not in the mood, which I guess does sound a little stranger._

_Trish and her semi popular friends sit on the opposite side of the cafeteria. I hate to admit it because I sound like a stalker, but I like watching them interact and talk, wishing I was there participating in life with them. None of them have noticed me but that's just me being unnoticed, me being a wallflower. But thinking of the perks, I've learned some interesting things about her friends._

_One is a very tall red head. He dresses a little funky but seems very confident and assure of himself no matter what. He almost makes the group laugh a lot even if he's making fun of himself. I really want to learn how he does that: poke fun, laugh at himself and his silly mistakes. The other guy looks around my height but could be a little taller. He has brown eyes and brown dark hair. He seems like he's the shy one of their group but not as shy as me. The other girl is tall and beautiful. She as the confidence that shows on her face and a bright smile. She has dirty blonde and pretty blue eyes and I can just tell, she can have ay guy she wanted just by batting her eyes._

_I've been catching myself watching one of the boys she hangs out with more than anyone else in their little group. He's all and I'd probably go upright above his shoulders. He's blonde and his hair hands over just above his eyes. And if I'm perfectly honest, his eyes are dreamy. He's smile is friendly and a little contagious. I can tell he's the leader of the group, the social one that brings them all together. I notice a lot of girls around the cafeteria checking him out but I won't judge since I'm doing the same._

_I smile from time to time at Trish during first period and I don't believe that nonsense I was telling myself, about me being an annoying new girl trying to be her friend. Apart of getting out of a depression is to stop bringing yourself down. I can tell her smiles are sincere and she doesn't seem like the person to judge. She could have an attitude but she's really only joking and never takes things too far._

_Tomorrow is the school's first football game Trish was talking about that one day we spoke in the hall by her locker. She's going with her friends and I think I want to go, even if I don't manage to walk up to her and her friends there. It'll be nice to put myself out there at least, even if no one notices._

_"I'm the girl in the corner of the room The one you never notice Getting lost among the stars in the sky Like a picture of focus._

_I'm the sun in your eyes Yet you don't see me I wear no disguise But you don't see me_

_I'm a total surprise And you don't see me I'm so agonized That you don't see me_

_You don't see me."_

_- Ally_

I glanced at Trish and her group of friends again and this time I notice the tall blonde one searching around the room. I follow eyes and they lead me to tall the girls smiling at him but he doesn't smile back, not in a mean way though. I don't think he's paying any attention. I scan the room myself and think about how everyone is laughing and talking, enjoying themselves and I'm here alone basically stalking a cute senior.

I closed my book and then looked back up and the blonde boy's brown eyes are already looking deep into mine. He smiles and I get butterflies but before I could smile back I felt myself blush and turned away mentally cursing myself for not smiling back.

_"Be confident."_ I scribbled quickly into my journal as I did the exact opposite: walked out of the cafeteria and decided to spend the rest of the lunch period alone in the library.

_"I need to stop writing down advice and not listening to it. I WILL go to the football game and I WILL talk to Trish and met her friends. I WILL enjoy myself."_ I wrote down randomly and smiled, proud of myself. Setting a goal is the first step for achieving it.

I finish the page off writing down some lyrics that pop into my mind. Hopefully I could finish and add on later and turn it into a real song.

_"Stop hiding out in the shadows_  
_Scared to show the world you exist_  
_Don't lock yourself in the darkness _  
_The world is so much brighter than this _  
_Ya, if you never take the shock You never gonna win_  
_So turn it all around and Break down the walls_  
_Come on and take a chance make a stand and _  
_Break, break, break, down the walls."_

**Austin's POV**

I scanned the room a little bored. The same girls always staring at me but I didn't really pay attention to them. I spotted this girl sitting by herself, her food untouched, and she was also scanning the room, probably for her friends. She had nice brown hair with dyed blonde tips and it looked really nice on her because the brown curled into the blonde. I wonder where her friends are. She looked down at her hrnal and then back up where are eyes meet. I smiled at her and she blushed looking away. She's probably too shy to smile back but I bet her smile was pretty.

I guess she spotted her friends because she got up and left the cafeteria.

"Who are you checking out?" Cassidy asked.

"Huh?" I asked. "I wasn't checking anyone out." I said glancing back at the table the girl was just sitting at.

"Can't lie to your friends." Dallas said.

"Tell me about her." Dez said leaning in with the others.

"I can't check someone out with everyone being all up on me asking questions?" I asked.

"You can check out Kira." Trish laughed as I glared at her. "I'm sorry." She apologized.

"That was pretty funny, but don't say that stuff anymore, I really like her." I said and she nodded while high fiving Dez for that joke. Typical Trish.

**I hope you guys aren't bored cause it's been just Ally but stick with me q:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_Dear Song Book,_

_I'm keeping my promise. I'm walking to the football game after I finish getting ready._

_-Ally_

I'm not paying any attention to the game. I'm sitting down on the bench closest to the field. I spotted Trish with the blonde, social leading boys with the dreamy eyes. He was leaving towards the snack bar and I decided it would be best and easier to speak to Trish first.

"Trish?" I asked sitting down in the one open spot across from her bench.

"Ally, right? I've missed you!" She smiled and she noticed I was sitting alone. "Are you waiting for your friends? Come and sit with me!" She exclaimed as I made my way over and sat next to her on the cold bench. "I'm glad you decided to come after all." She said.

"Me too. It's actually my first football game." I admitted as she gasped.

"I go to one every once in a while but I can't believe you haven't been to at least one. I don't really understand the game but it's fun, I really love the energy!" She shouted.

"I do too! It's amazing!" I yelled over the crowd.

"Your popcorn." The blonde guy said handing Trish popcorn and sitting down besides me. I kept my head down to the point where I can even tell I looked really stupid and my neck was hurting. I felt myself blush and repeatedly told myself not to be a chicken and look up and smile already!

"Took you long enough." Trish said with attitude but I could tell she was just joking around like she always did in first.

"We'd still be getting it for free and not having to wait in any lines if you didn't get fired from the snack bar." He laughed.

"I was fired for giving it to my friends for free!" She laughed and I could picture that being the case so I let out a small laugh.

"Trish, who's this?" He asked glancing at me through my hair covering my face, then back at Trish and back at me.

"Oh I'm sorry, excuse my bad manners." She rolled her eyes. "Ally, this is Austin. Austin, this is Ally. Austin and Ally. It has a cute ring to it."

"Hey." He said pulling some of my hair from my face to behind my ear and his eyes widened once he recognized me. "The girl from the cafeteria!"

"Hey." I said a bit awkwardly looking up and pulling my hair back from being tucked behind my ear.

"The girl from the cafeteria?" Trish asked and then gasped looking at me and back at Austin. "Why didn't you tell me she was the one you were checking gout yesterday at lunch?" She said leaning over me and smacking Austin. "I could have totally set up a date ages ago!"

"I wasn't checking her out!" His voice cracked. "I wasn't checking you out." He said back a little embarrassed.

"Admit it. It's not like you have lied about checking any other girl out anyways." She shrugged her shoulders. "There's no reason to be embarrassed." She added shrugging her shoulders and threw popcorn in her mouth.

"Ok." He agreed. "But I wasn't checking you out in a bad way." He admitted and smiled bright.

"It's really fine." I said and hoping they would stop talking about it.

"Me and Trish are going to my friend's party after this if you want to come. We'll give you a ride home if you'd like." He invited me.

"Sure, sounds like fun!" I yelled again as the crowd cheered. I like being able to shout but not really being noticed because others were too busy shouting their heads off too.

"We'll probably stop by 711 to buy some junk food first." He said and I nodded smiling.

_Dear Song Book,_

_After the game we walked to Austin's truck parked in the school's parking lot. I'm sitting in the back right now and we're headed to their friend's party. I'm a bit scared and excited. I'm finally feeling the butterflies in my stomach but it's different. I could feel myself having more control over my anxiety about the whole party thing and I'm even more excited than nervous. We're stopping at 711 first. And remember Ally, try not to nod, shake your head, use facial expressions, but actually answer using your voice."_

_-Ally_

We all jump out of his truck and head to the store. Austin and Trish both grab a handful of chips, candy, and cookies... They kept piling random stuff up and I looked at the amount of food and then back up at Austin for an explanation.

"Some of our friends are getting stoned and it's our time to buy the jun." He said reading my mind. I really hate how easy I am to read just by my facial expressions.

"Stoned?" I asked a bit scared and my excitement goes away in an instant, it's substituted with anxiety instead.

"You don't have to. I'm not." He smiled but I fidget with my hands so he can't tell they're starting to shake and sweating. Before I let it get too noticeable I turn around and bit my lip calming myself down by counting down from a hundred, controlling my breathing at the same time before anything bad happens.

"Are you alright?" He asked setting down the food on the counter.

"Ye-yeah." I answered trying to concentrate on my counting.

"Hey." He said grabbing my hands holding them tight till they stopped shaking. "No one's going to pressure you into anything, I promise." He said and for some reason, I believe him even though we just met.

"Promise what?" Trish asked walking up and piling another amount of chips on the counter.

"We're all going to have a good time tonight." He said.

"Yeah we are!" Trish exclaimed high fiving him.

"So, are you guys best friends?" I asked stupidly and blankly. "You two just seem really comfortable with each other." I added quickly.

"Best friends yeah right." Trish laughed.

"Hey!" Austin said pretending to be angry. "Naw, she's my little sister." My squint my eyes and my eyebrows are pushed together in confusion. They looked nothing alike.

"Step sister." She corrected him as she saw my confusion. Damn, I really need to start talking instead of using face expressions.

"Are you guys ready? Next stop, the kick back at my friend's place." Austin said excitedly but looking at me waiting for an honest answer.

"I'm excited." I answered honestly instead of nodding or some excited expression.

We go back to his car and he starts to drive, I'm gladly still sitting in the back.

"So, Ally. How old are you? You look a little young." He said glancing at me through the mirror.

"Sixteen." I answered as I watched him drive.

"And you're a junior?" He asked confused.

"She skipped a grade." Trish answered for me.

"Smart pants." He said moving his eyebrows up and down at me. "Which grade?" He asked as we pulled into his friend's driveway.

"Uh, tenth." I answered waiting for the car to completely stop before taking my belt off.

"How?" They both asked at the same time curiously.

"Stop copying me, _little_ sister." He said jokingly rolling his eyes in frustration, I laughed and Trish punched him.

"Finally!" A girl said running up to the car. "I'm starving." She giggled grabbing one of the bags and running back inside the house. She was the one who was blonde with blue eyes, the one who could get any guy.

"Let's get this party started." Trish shouted as we all climbed out of the truck.

I took a deep breath and smiled excitedly. I promised myself I was going out to the football game and talk to Trish and I made it even further and everything was running smoothly so far.

**Review! Next chapter will be Ally's first time at a party ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I DIED FROM LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE :3**

**Chapter Five**

"Dear Song Book,

I don't care if this sounds a little weird but I'm writing this in the bathroom at Cassidy's house. I've been here only for a half hour and all of their friends are hilarious. Even though I'm not high with some of them, the laughter is pretty contagious and knowing they're all high, makes me feel more comfortable to be myself for some odd reason. I don't remember laughing this hard at all. I really like it.

I should probably write down everyone who I met. Cassidy is the blonde hair blue eyed confident one and her personality is a bit bossy and a little too confident but she really is nice. The tall red head is named Dez. Austin told me he doesn't do any weed but not surprisingly, he sure does act if he's high all the time. He's really sweet and definitely the funniest. The other boy with brown hair is named Dallas. He's a little not as shy as I thought, but still a little less talkative than the rest of the group. I caught him a few times checking me out but I'd pretend I didn't notice.

I should probably get going now before people think I've disappeared or something.

-Ally "

"Would you like a brownie? Freshly made." Cassidy asked waving the tray in my face once I got downstairs and sat down with the others on the carpet floor.

"Sure." I said grabbing one since I was a little bit hungry. "Where are Trish and Austin?" I asked looking around the group sitting down around me and the couch.

"On the dance floor." She said nodding over to the other part of the house.

I looked over and found them dancing the weirdest out of everyone there. They danced so care free and fun, making me laugh out loud to the point where my eyes were watery and I couldn't see perfectly.

"They are so cute." I said as the others laughed along nodding hysterically with me.

**Austin's POV**

After a while dancing with my sister a girl pulled me away and I smirked knowing it was Kira.

"Not cool enough to come with me to watch my high school's first football game but you're just going to pull me away from my sister?" I asked. "Not cool." I said as she laughed.

"Wouldn't you rather dance with me?" She asked.

"Ehhh." I joked as she smacked me playfully.

"No more talking, lets dance." She smiled leaning in and then turned around pulling the back of her body close to mine as I grabbed her waist from behind.

"Alright." I whispered laughing in the back of her ear when I spotted Ally taking a brownie off of the tray.

"Ally!" I shouted letting go of Kira.

There was a crowd sitting on the couch watching Ally as she was the only one who sat criss cross on the carpet floor.

"Don't eat that brownie, it's a weed brownie." I said before she could take a bite and she just giggled putting it back on the tray.

"Please tell me you guys didn't already give her one?" I asked a little pissed at my friends.

"I thought she knew!" Cassidy laughed. "Relax, she's having fun. No harm here."

"Fun, yup!" Ally giggled. "Wow. I can't believe it." She said rocking her body back and forth a little bit. "I'm not allergic anymore."

"What?" I asked confused as my high friends laughed at how goofy she was acting.

"To breathing." She answered falling back and looking up at the ceiling. "No more." Her answer caused everyone to laugh, and I even chuckled a bit less mad at my friends.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" I asked just to be sure. "How are you feeling, Ally?" I asked again.

"I feel like I really want pickles." She said sitting back up.

"Dude, where did you find this girl?" Dallas laughed asking me but looking at Ally.

"Come on, Ally." I said helping her up from the carpet floor.

"Austin." Kira said a little upset. "Let me take care of her first." I said and she glared at Ally but gave me a sad smile.

"Fine." She said softening her glare back at Ally.

"So, Ally." I said sitting her down on the kitchen table and closing the door so it was quieter, away from the music.

"Yes?" She said smiling big.

"I'm actually sorry I took you here." I apologized honestly and she frowned.

"No, no." She said shaking her head slowly to protest. "I need to experience this." She said now nodding her head up and down.

"Drugs?" I asked a little upset. "I seen the way you reacted when I told you some of my friends would be getting high and you started freaking out."

"That was just my anxiety acting up." She said shrugging her shoulders and then pulling out her notebook.

"Anxiety?" I said softly. "Anxiety isn't just something that 'acts up.'" I said firmer even though I know everything I'm saying won't go through. She's high!

"Drugs at my first party." She said out loud as she wrote. "No more anxiety." She continued.

"That's not the answer to get rid of anxiety." I said seriously pulling out a jar of pickles from the fridge. I don't even know her too well and I'm spoiling her, with pickles?

"Not the answer but it works for a while." She wrote down like a student learning an important fact during a lecture.

"Ally." I said and she looked up. "No." I said hoping I could get through her high self.

"No." She said too and wrote it down. "No." She looked up smiling.

"Good." I said a little proud.

"Good." She copied me again.

"Oh. My. Gosh." I laughed putting a few pickles on a plate.

"I have to use the bathroom." She said getting up walking to the bathroom.

She left her journal and I picked it up ready to see her writing. I expected to see what she said scribbled around the page but instead there were just doodles of flowers.

"Ally." I laughed rolling my eyes. "Austin was here." I wrote in just for fun. I flipped through the pages and read a random page.

"*Austin and Trish are the first friends I've had since I was twelve. I hope they consider me a friend even if we met like an hour ago. I couldn't be happier it's them though. Don't screw anything up by telling them the truth. A fresh start means no one knows your story.*" I read silently to myself and put the book down.

"I shouldn't be reading this." I said as Ally stepped out of the bathroom.

"Pickle time?" She smiled and I nodded handing her the plate.

I sat with her in silence as she ate her pickles. I thought about the whole friend thing she wrote. I was wrong when I thought she was looking for her friends at the cafeteria yesterday. Four years since having friends… that's pretty intense, not to mention her 'story' and a 'fresh start.'

"Why are you staring at me like that?" She asked innocently putting her journal in her bag and pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Just thinking." I said honestly.

"Of?" She asked curiously.

"Nothing. It's getting a little late, want me to drive you home?" I asked.

"That's what you promised at the football game." She nodded.

"Let's go." I said walking out of the kitchen with her.

"Make sure Dallas doesn't try to dance with me again." She whined so I grabbed her hand and led her through the dancing crowd.

"Austin?" Kira asked angry.

"I am so so sorry." I said realizing I had forgotten about her as Ally tried holding in a snicker.

"Are you laughin-"

"Kira. She's high, remember?" I asked hopeful.

"Are we going to dance now?" She asked and then she noticed Ally was holding my hand too.

"Who is she?" She said angry obviously not going to care if she's high.

"Ally, this is Kira. Kira, this is Ally." I said awkwardly. Even though I shouldn't because we were just friends… as of today.

"Hey." Ally squeaked quickly like a little mouse.

"Hi." Kira said back and then looked at me.

"I have to drive her home." I said hoping she'd understand. "I promised."

"Ok but after it's all me and you." She said and I nodded, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

I gave my friend a signal to lower the music. I wanted to make an announcement as I grabbed two drinks from the table.

"A toast." I said handing one to Ally and lifting mine up high. "To our new friend, Ally." I said as she blushed.

"What did I do?" She asked.

"Nothing. We just want to toast at how well you fit in with our group of friends. You see things and you understand. You're a wallflower." I said as she hid behind me a little more.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I didn't think anyone noticed me." She said.

"We didn't think there was anyone else cool to meet." I shrugged my shoulders.

**Review, HONESTLY! Next chapter is about the car ride home :{) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**Ally's POV**

"Ally, what are you doing?" Austin laughed out loud rolling his eyes.

"I just… like sitting in the back." I lied opening up the door.

"Sit in the front with me, on the passenger side like a normal person." He said and I winced at the word 'normal'.

"The back is better." I said protesting.

"I'm not your taxi driver." He laughed opening the passenger door for me.

I looked at the open seat and back at him and I couldn't stop my feet, I started to walk!

"Ally? Where are you going? I don't see why you don't sit in the front." He said following me down the street.

I walked a little faster and started to think about him forcing me to sit in the front. I guess the weed brownies wore off because my anxiety was coming in. I can't believe I thought they were just brownies.

"No." I said repeating it over and over until there my vision was blurry because I was about to cry but I held it in.

"Ally." Austin said catching up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. He let me lay my head on his chest and I felt warm and safe shutting my eyes as two tears escaped softly. "You can sit in the back. I understand." He said.

"How? I'm crying because I don't want to sit in the back. How do you understand that? I don't even understand it!" I asked confused pulling away angry with myself.

"Probably has something to do with your anxiety. I get it." He said understanding and held my hand. "It's ok."

He held my hand all the way to the car and even put on my seat belt for me. I felt like a kid but I didn't really mind. I was a bit embarrassed and felt really stubborn, more than usual. We sat in silence for a while as I looked out the window up at the stars thinking about nothing really.

"You never answered me, you know." He said.

"About?" I asked not taking my eyes off the stars.

"How you skipped the tenth grade? Sounds pretty cool. Most people I know that skipped was kindergarten or did the three year high school plan and graduated as a junior." He said.

"Oh, uh, I was already in advanced classes in middle school and I was homeschooled since my freshman year so I had more chances to work at my own speed." I answered.

"So this is your first year at a real high school?" He asked and I nodded knowing he was probably glancing at me through the mirror.

"Austin." I asked looking at him. "I can ask you a complete random question about life even though we just met, right?"

"You're really… abnormal, Ally. I like that. So feel free to ask anything you'd like." He said.

"Do you have a dream?" I asked. "Something you want to achieve in life." I added.

"Yes." He smiled big. "I want to perform in New York on New Year's Eve. I'm a singer, and a dancer, and I play a few instruments."

"That's amazing." I said knowing I would want to perform there too, but never really dreamed of because my stage fright. "I know it'll happen for you."

"How do you know I don't suck?" He asked. "I could be the worse singer ever."

"Because." I answered. "Just cause."

"Because just cause?" He chuckled. "Well, you're right because I'm a pretty good singer." He said with a cocky smile.

"The blue house is mine." I said spotting it as he slowed down and stopped in front of my house.

"We're here." He said.

"Thank you." I said climbing out of the car.

"I'll walk you." He said but I shook my head.

"This isn't a date. But thank you." I said as he didn't listen and got out of the car anyways.

"Dear Song Book,

Today I felt… I'll think of an adjective later. I experienced my first football game. Well, going and watching a football game, not playing. It was really fun. I even shouted at times and participated in the wave the crowd does when our team made a touch down. I laughed so hard with Austin and Trish. It was my first day, or night, hanging out with them and I already feel so close to them. I'm already attached which is wrong because if they ever find out about me, they will hate me too.

But that's why I'm not telling them anything. The only thing Austin knows is that I get a little anxiety. I also experienced drugs for the first time. It took away my anxiety for a while but I don't think I'll be doing anymore anytime soon. Austin I think was really upset that I did. I am too, a little bit. But I don't regret it.

I have this feeling Dallas has a crush on me. He tried to dance with me a few times, following me to the dance floor when really I was heading to the bathroom to write. It was getting a bit annoying, but he was just being a teenage boy. I'm not sure why. Dallas is sweet and cute but… Austin. Which leads me to Austin and Kira.

The night was ending comfortably and Austin wanted to walk me to my door like if it was a date even if it wasn't. It was a last second invitation and we didn't really hang out at the party. He even kissed Kira in front of me, not that he isn't allowed to. But he walked me to my door anyways. I made a comment about how I'm never comfortable and open around people I literally just met and he smiled looking really deep into my eyes, and we were quiet for a few seconds.

I thought he was going to kiss me, I just had the feeling. But instead when he leaned in, he gave me a hug. A friendly hug, a little too tight kind of hug, but a nice hug from a nice friend. Before we left the party, he toasted to me officially welcoming me into their group of friends, despite the glares I got from Kira. I can't believe I was going to forget to write the wallflower toast in! I guess it's because I'm really tired.

On the way home Austin told me he wanted to be a performer and I know it's going to happen for him. He's the type of person who makes it in life. I don't know if I should tell him about my talent, yet.

- Ally D."

**Review! The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is one of my favorite books & movies. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Dear Song Book,

I looked into the mirror at my outfit this morning. For the pass few years I've been wearing nothing but jeans and oversized graphic tee shirts but I've been dressing a bit more girly. Today I'm wearing flats, skinny jeans, a thin red belt, and a shirt with a cardigan. It's not the best or girliest but I'm trying and I feel nice with what I'm wearing and that's what counts. I think I hear Trish and Austin honking, I should go before we're late for school.

- Ally D. "

"You take forever." Trish said rolling her eyes.

"Sorry." I said climbing into the back seat.

"I am not up for school today." Austin sighed. "Too early for this shit."

"Mondays." I sighed half smiling.

"I'm up for ditching." Trish said.

"But what about ceramics? It's your last time to retake the test." I said.

"Why can't I make one single vase?" She laughed. "You guys can ditch, I'm going to be a good girl today. I really need to pass this class."

"Are you up for it, Ally?" Austin asked.

"Uhm." I said thinking about it.

"If you don't wan to, just say so. I won't be mad." He said.

"I want to." I grinned. "Beach?" I asked.

"Let's drop off our baby Trish at school first." He joked.

"Ok, _dad_." She rolled her eyes. "Just don't be late picking me up, I'm serious."

"One time, I forgot you one time!" Austin said. "You will never let me forget it."

"What happened? How late were you?" I asked.

"Go ahead and tell them, Austin." Trish said daringly.

"Uh… just three hours." He said scrunching up his face waiting for the punch from Trish, which he got.

"You guys crack me up." I laughed in the back seat.

"We try, just for you." Austin laughed.

"Do you think we can stop by the mall really quick afterwards?" I asked.

"Sure." Austin said.

"Ugh do I really need to go to school? The mall sounds so fun." Trish whined. "Stupid ceramics." She whispered.

"Ok, we're here." He said.

"Bye!" Trish said jumping out. "Stupid, stupid, stupid ceramics!" She mumbled.

Austin doesn't bug me about the front seat anymore so he drives right away, I'm just glad he doesn't make me feel awkward about it the way my dad does.

"Aren't we lucky to live in Miami?" He asked.

"Yeah, the beach is nice." I said.

"Do you want to go cliff diving?" He asked.

"Hahahhaaha no." I said.

"Don't tell me you can't swim?" He asked.

"I can swim." I said sticking out my tongue.

"Afraid of heights?" He asked.

"No, I like heights." I said.

"Then what's the problem?" He asked.

"I guess there isn't one." I shrugged and nodded. "Let's do it!"

"Yes! We should make today a total adventure. We should hit the carnival too. Ally, when is your birthday by the way?" He asked.

"December 27th." I answered. "Are you trying to get me in free?" I joked.

"No." He laughed rolling his eyes. "I'm turning nineteen in January."

"Last year of being a teen." I winked.

"I know but I don't know." He said confused.

"What?" I asked.

"You're sixteen and I'm eighteen. That's two whole years!" He said as he drove.

"So?" I asked. "I'm mature for my age. And you? You are a little immatu-"

"Don't you dare say that." He joked. "But I do feel bad."

"Why?" I asked. "Where is all this coming from?"

"On the first day we met I probably should have taken better care of you, you're only sixteen and so far you've been to your first party, did pot, and now ditching? Maybe I should drop you off back at school." He said with a sense of regret.

"Those were my decisions. And it's healthy to rebel every once in a while." I defended myself.

"You're young though. I'm older, I should know better." He said.

"Austin, I'm not ditching school everyday to do drugs at some random party." I said. "I'm honestly fine. And on top of that, I know you would never let me if I tried that stuff all the time."

"Are you saying you're going to do drugs again?" He asked.

"I'm not doing weed anymore, it was a one time thing." I said. "Ditching every once in a while, someone once told me mental holidays are ideal every once in a while."

"Who told you that?" Austin asked.

"My father." I lied as a mental image of my therapist popped up. I didn't want him knowing I had to see one.

"I agree with him." Austin said. "So, Ally, can I ask you a complete random question even though we haven't known each other long?"

"Yes, because I feel comfortable with you." I smiled.

"Do you have a dream? Anything you want to achieve or accomplish in life?" He asked.

I tilted to my head and thought. I obviously knew my dream, to be a professional songwriter for one of the biggest stars. I completely given up on being a singer. I wonder if I should tell him? I don't want to because I can't finish even finish one song.

"Yes." I finally answered.

"And it is?" He asked.

"A secret I hope one day to share with you and the world through another person." I said honestly even if it sounded really stupid. I looked back up at him and gave him a quick smile.

"Alright. Promise?" He asked.

"Promise." I said.

"Now, let's stop by the mall cause I need to buy some swimming trunks too." He said.

"Same. Or, well, a bathing suit." I laughed.

**Review? :{) I uploaded a few today because I might not upload in a two days o: I'll try my best to upload at least one so don't worry c:**


	8. Chapter 8

I just want to say if you haven't read the book, it's literally all in letters, summarizing the events that happened that day/week. I'm trying to make it both live & writing in her song book to keep it like the book but also a little more interesting. The book is really a great story and the movie was put together really well!

**Chapter Eight**

**Ally's POV**

"Nice." I said pulling out the blue swim trunks he bought. We were in the car on our way to the beach.

"And what did you buy?" He asked.

"Blue bathing shorts, white bikini top, and a crop top." I said pulling them out to show him.

"Nice." He mocked me with a smile. "So, cliff diving for sure?"

"Yes. You've done it before, right?" I asked.

"Lots of time. It's one of the best feelings in the world."

"How does it feel like?" I asked.

"It's like when you jump off of a diving board but only it's longer and higher since you're jumping off a cliff, so you have time to really think and feel yourself dropping, with nothing holding on to you, unlike those rides that just drop and have you strapped inside."

"Hmm." I said thinking about it. "Sounds fun."

"It is." He said. "We're here."

"Carnival first, right?"

"Yeah we can get something to eat."

"Cotton candy." I said as my eyes followed the guy walking around selling them on a long stick.

"You're so... dorky." He laughed and I shrugged.

"Let's go buy some pink and blue cotton candy." I grinned and he laughed.

"Ok." He smiled back.

Later-

"Are you ready?" He asked pulling me closer to the edge of the cliff.

"I don't know." I said peeking at the water but holding onto Austin for my life. "It didn't look really high before."

"But that shouldn't matter since you're not afraid of heights, right?" He asked.

I nodded and took a deep breath, putting my hair into a high ponytail.

"I won't drown?" I asked.

"No, I'll jump first so I could be down waiting for you."

"You won't drown?"

"Ally, no one is going to drown. There's life guards down there anyway."

"So, you're jumping first? Sounds good." I said and he eyed me suspiciously.

"You won't chicken out and leave me in the water all by myself, right?" He asked.

"I-, don't know." I answered.

"Together?" He asked reaching out his hand and I bit my bottom lip.

"Together." I answered grabbing his hand tightly. I started shaking my head to get rid of bad thoughts and jumping up and down, shaking my hands.

"Ally." He laughed. "Is that supposed to be a warm up exercise?"

"Funny." I said. "But yes."

"Dork. Classic Ally." He said. "Ready now?"

"Ready." I said surprising myself by running first and pulling him with me and we both jumped.

Butterflies in my stomach fluttering around and then there were more but there was no anxiety, I had the biggest smile as the wind hit my face in the softest way. My cheeks hurt and I couldn't believe how it felt. I felt like I was flying. I seen nothing but the beautiful blue sky and from the corner of my eye, Austin's blonde hair and his toned body. I didn't realize it but I was screaming and saw the water getting closer and closer and then we hit the water. It was so cool and refreshing as it hit my warmed skin. My eyes were shut and I did my best to have my mouth shut tight so I didn't laugh and gulp the salt water. I swam to the top and took a deep breath in, I guess I didn't realize how long I was holding my breath under water.

"That was so much more better than just amazing and fun and incredible..." I said as Austin swam to me.

"Told you. And no one drowned!" He said swimming closer to me.

"Thanks. I would have never-" I started to say before he got even closer and serious. "Would have done that on my own, or ever." I finished in a low voice, our faces being inches away.

"Uh, yeah." He said backing up a little. "It was fun." He smiled awkwardly. "We should swim back to shore now, wanna head back to the carnival on the pier?"

"Yeah, sure." I said forgetting about the awkward moment.

Later-

"Austin?" Kira laughed but spotted me. "And Ally." She added quickly. "What a surprise." She said trying to sound happy to see her.

"Hey, I didn't know you were ditching today?" Austin said hugging her.

"Hi." I smiled knowing I wasn't the only one feeling awkward. We both were. But Austin remained completely cool.

"No, there was no school today for whatever reason. Wanna come hang out with my friends? They're waiting in life for the big ride." She obviously asked Austin not wanting me to join.

"Sure." Austin said.

"Sounds great!" She said hugging on to his arm.

I walked besides them but Kira kept giving me these little looks like I should leave but where was I going to go? We cut in life and all of her friends greeted Austin and completely decided to ignore me, in Kira's favor.

"This is Ally, my friend from school." He said and I waved and a few smiled back.

"This ride is so scary." Kira said griping on Austin's arm harder.

"What? No, it's my favorite." He said.

"Ride with me?" She asked as I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. Why was I so jealous?

"Of course. Are you alright riding alone?" He asked facing me.

"It's fine." I shrugged smiling.

Later-

"How was today without me? Not as much fun, huh? Be honest." Trish said jumping into the car.

"Cliff diving was amazing." I answered truthfully as Austin stood quiet.

"So lucky you guys went." Trish said as he drove to my house in silence. "Is everything ok? Austin did you push her off the cliff?"

"What! No, I wouldn't do that." He said.

"You did it to Dez three years ago." She argued.

"I swear I didn't. I wouldn't do that to a girl." He said.

"He didn't push me." I added.

"So why are you two so quiet, what happened?" She asked.

"We're here." I said as we drove down my street.

"Call me later." Trish said as I got off the car thanking them for the ride.

"See you guys tomorrow." I said.

**Hopefully I update another chapter by tonight. It's going to be Ally writing in her song book q: Please review, I think some people are still reading but I don't know if they are just clicking and then forgetting it.. o;**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Dear Song Book,

Today Austin kissed Kira. I sat alone in between two of her friends as they sucked on their boyfriends faces. Austin kept breaking their kisses but Kira kept bringing him back. I ate a few bites of my chilli cheese fries just to keep me busy. Things with him are complicated. He says he likes Kira and I believe him. Everyone in our group really doesn't like Kira and Trish and Cassidy even give me this look like they just know I'm in love with Austin, which I'm not. I'm not jealous of Kira but her there with her friends ruined all the fun. And there he goes, so perfectly, The kind of flawless I wish I could be She better hold him tight, give him all her love Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause

I'm not going to lie, we had another moment where it felt like we were going to kiss but Austin keeps pushing away, which makes no sense because he's the one always leaning in. At first I thought he was just confused, but he made it clear today he does like Kira. Which is fine, he's my friend. But she did ruin the fun we were having. She doesn't like me but I just smile and put up with her, because he likes her. All the girls like him.

"And there he goes, so perfectly, The kind of flawless I wish I could be She better hold him tight, give him all her love Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause..."

That's all I have. I could never finish one simple song anymore! I need some sleep.

- Ally D."

"Hello?" I asked picking up my phone.

"It's Trish, can you please tell me what's up? Austin seems really upset." She said.

"I don't know why he would." I answered.

"Tell me what happened." She said.

"We went to the beach." I answered.

"Then?" She said.

"We met up with some of his friends." I said sitting down on my bed.

"Friends?" She asked. "Everyone was at school."

"Kira, and her friends, I mean." I said and she stood quiet.

"Oh. I'm sorry." She said.

"Why? There's nothing to feel sorry about."

"I know that you, like him a little more than-"

"I do not." I said cutting her off.

"If it'll make you feel better, he's been talking about stop seeing her..."

"He can do whatever and his decisions don't affect me." I said and Trish sighed a little.

"See you tomorrow." She said probably finding out there was no way talking to me.

"Bye." I said hanging up. "But, thanks for trying to make me feel better even though I don't need it." I rushed in before she said I was welcomed.

**Week Later**

"Dear Song Book,

I'm sitting here in the cafeteria with my friends but I just wanted to say how lucky I am to have them.

Ally D."

"What do you write so much in there?" Dez asked.

"Anything." I shrugged.

"Like?" Dallas asked.

"Random thoughts, notes, reminders… anything." I answered.

"Not to be nosey, but you should read us something random you have in there." Cassidy suggested and I took a chance.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I've noticed that's been your motto lately." Austin smiled.

"Only because you guys are the ones giving me the chance." I said. "Now, shush and let me choose something random to read." I said and he obeyed.

I flipped through pages and chose a random page. I closed my eyes and pointed to a random spot and opened my eyes to read whatever was there.

"Austin was here?" I read slowly.

"Oh yeah." He laughed. "The day you were high at the party and we were in the kitchen. You went to the bathroom and I sneaked a peek at your book and snuck that in."

"What?" I yelled shutting my book.

"I'm sorry, I wrote it quick and read one part and then realized it was a bit personal so I stopped, I swear." He said looking back at the cafeteria where people were staring since I yelled but I didn't care.

"What did it say?" I asked making sure I was quieter this time.

"Something about you were glad you met me and Trish." He said like it was no big deal but I remember everything I write down.

"That's not all it said so don't pretend that's all you read." I said angrily.

"Ok, you may have mentioned-"

"Don't tell them!" I yelled and looked around at my group of friends and back at Austin. He knows I have a 'story' and haven't had friends in years.

I get embarrassed and my blush turns into breathing hard looking around, worse than ever. I stood up and wanted to run away but when I turned around I bump into this freshman and his food on his tray falls on my shirt.

"I am so sorry." The kid said but I don't tell him anything. I took a step to get out of the cafeteria but slip on the milk that fell and I hear laughter from the entire cafeteria as I lay there, wishing I was dead.

"Ally." Austin said trying to help me up. "I'm sorry." He said but I make no attempt to talk to him or get up.

The bell rang and I can feel everyone stare at me as Austin helps me up but I keep my head down and my hair covering most of my face from the tears.

"I'm taking you to the nurse." He said but I don't say anything back, I just lean on him and limp because my ankle feels sprained.

He sits me down on the chair in front of the nurses office and the nurse tells him to stay for a minute and she'll get him a pass.

"Ally, I am so sorry. At the time I didn't realize it was a personal diary." He said but I still don't say anything. "I know whatever you went through was hard but we're all here and we won't judge you if you want to talk."

"I don't. Don't you get it? That's why I haven't' told you guys anything. It's all in the pass." I said not looking up.

"I'm just letting you know, we're here." He said.

"There's nothing to talk about." I shrugged. "I shouldn't have mad a big deal about it. It was nothing. I was just upset you read it without my permission."

"Ally, we really are here and won't judge you if you want to-"

"There's nothing to talk about or tell you guys, ok? I was just being a dramatic teen in that stupid book." I lied.

"Here's your pass Mr. Moon." The nurse said coming out and handing him a slip.

"Ally?" He asks while getting up.

I don't say anything but look up at him.

"We're ok, right?" He asks and I nod.

"I don't want to, not be... friends, with you guys." I said and he nodded walking away.

"Dear Song Book,

The real world hurts. I feel all these kind of emotions but it's the same, I hide them, ignore them, forgive through them... nothing ever makes sense in my life. Does it for anyone?

-Ally"

***If you haven't watched the movie or read the book, the story is over the course of one year. It's really a sad and wonderful book and movie :')**

**Don't think I'm doing too well, might delete but even if one person says they want me to continue, I will^-^ but if not, well yeah, :c q: lol**


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't even care anymore lol i'm updating it but probably won't update for the next couple of days.**

**Chapter Ten**

Dear Song Book,

The next day Austin and Trish picked me up for school and the car ride was a bit awkward because for a while I slipped back into my pattern. I ate less or not at all at lunch. Rarely talked, when a nod, shake, or facial expression didn't do the work. I didn't bring my book to school anymore and no one mentioned it.

I lied to Austin and said I overreacted but in my mind, I under reacted. I wanted to stand up and tell him off but I was embarrassed and ran away. I tend to do that with problems. I didn't mean to bring my group of friends down but after a while they talked more at lunch without feeling uncomfortable.

Things changed even though I wish they hadn't because Austin knows even more than he should and I bet he feels sorry for me. I didn't want him to look down on me and say things like 'we're here for you', 'you can talk to us', stuff like that.

Ugh.

- Ally Dawnson

"Ally?" My dad asked walking in my room.

"Dad, you're supposed to knock!" I yelled.

"Ally." He said seriously as I hugged my pillow tight and hid my book.

"What?" I asked politely.

"You're slipping back into the pattern." He said and I regretted using that phrase in my song journal.

"I'm not." I said back instantly.

"I'm going to be checking on you so no more locking the door." He said and I nodded.

"Fine. But please knock before you come in." I said and he nods too.

"Get ready for dinner." He said.

"I'm not hungry." I lie as my stomach growls a silent growl.

"You don't look too healthy, you're eating downstairs in a half hour with me and a few guests."

"Who?" I ask.

"Guests." He says living me alone in my room.

I throw a sweater on, put my hair in a ponytail, and a pair of old jeans. I didn't care.

I walked out to my balcony for some fresh air. I close my eyes and imagine how it would be to fly. The closets thing I've gotten to it was cliff diving. I take in a deep breath and walk back into my room, picking up the picture of my mother and me when I was in the 7th grade.

I grab my song book and write down more lyrics as I sing them. It flowed perfectly with the lyrics from my first entry.

"I miss you I miss your smile And I still shed a tear Every once in a while

And even though it's different now You're still here somehow My heart won't let you go And I need you to know

I miss you, sha la la la I miss you."

"Ally? Dinner's ready." He knocked.

"I'll be right down." I said.

"That was a beautiful song." He says quietly but I don't respond until I hear him leave down the stairs.

"Thanks, dad." I said wishing I could sing in front of him or anyone for that matter.

I walk downstairs to the dining room but stop when I hear people talking.

"Who the hell did my father invite?" I whisper and freeze when I recognize the voice.

"Thanks for having me and my sister over. You have a beautiful home." He said.

"Dad." I whined muttering to myself a little annoyed before taking a deep breath in and out and walking in.

"Hey." I said waving to both of them.

"Thought I should finally meet your friends." He smiled as we all sat down.

Few minutes later-

"I'm really trying to get a record deal and take a few classes at the University of Miami." Austin said.

"Really, wow that's great. Can you play any instruments or do you just sing?" He asked. The whole conversation was putting me on the verge of anxiety wondering if my dad would bring up anything of me I didn't want them knowing.

"Piano, drums, guitar, learning the violin too." He answered and my dad's eyes shot up.

"You should play us something. There's a piano in the living room." He said as everyone got up.

Few minutes Later-

"I've been working on learning Bruno Mar's 'When I was Your Man'." Austin said as he began to play.

Trish smiled watching her brother perform in front of us and Austin sang and was so lost in the song and I was lost in his voice, he was only performing in front of a few people but he gave a performance like his life was on the line. His voice was flawless, hitting every note perfectly and smoothly.

"I hope he buys you flowers I hope he holds your hand Give you all of his hours When he has the chance

Take you to every party Cause I remember how much you loved to dance..."

I knew in that moment I will write a song just for him to sing. He had the perfect voice for the songs I write and swoons the crowd, making them all fall in love with his voice too.

Later-

"Dear Song Book,

The dinner started off a bit awkward but eventually I let my guard down a little and then my two friends and dad broke through it. Not all of it of course, but a good amount. I can already feel myself slipping back into place. I've written and finished the first song about missing my mom within a half hour! Before they left, Austin apologized for the book thing but I just smiled hoping he'd understand he doesn't have to apologize anymore. They're picking me up this Friday for a small bonfire. I feel closer to them and have opened up a little more than I did before.

-Ally Dawson."

**SHIT WILL GO DOWN AT THE BONFIRE. Lol**


	11. Chapter 11

Austin's POV

"Kira, we need to talk." I whispered meeting her at her car.

"Let's talk later and enjoy the bonfire tonight." She said kissing me on my cheek and walking off. "Oh, by the way, I brought one of my friends for Ally."

"She isn't looking for anyone." I said.

"But my friend isn't either, just a little fun." She shrugged walking away. I looked past her to the bonfire on shore.

Cassidy and Dallas were sitting next to each other. Then it was Ally sitting all by herself, then Dez and Trish. On the ride here she commented on how she felt like it was a couple thing and she would feel awkward. Adding to the awkwardness of Cassidy liking Dallas but Dallas liking Ally. But either way there was no way I want her hanging out with one of Kira's friends. All they wanted to do was make out with random girls. I need to break up with her already. I keep having these moments where I want to kiss Ally, but then a bunch of reasons why I shouldn't pop up. The first one being me and Kira are sort of going out.

Ally's POV

"Ally." I said shaking Beck's hand.

"Such a pretty name." He said.

"I see a spark already!" Kira giggled as she pulled Austin away. "Let's take a walk." Austin gave me this look, like he wanted me to be careful but I assured him I'm just as mature as them with a smile.

"The bonfire is so pretty." I said being memorized by the flames.

"I really want to sketch it." Cassidy said grabbing a sketch book.

"You can draw?" I asked.

"Mhmm." She said sketching, watching the flames intensely. "And painting, fashion designing, ceramics..."

"Stupid ceramics." Trish mumbled as Dez laughed.

"Hey! That vase you made me was... creative." He said sarcastically, earning him a smack. "It was beautiful." He corrected himself.

"Good answer." Trish said smirking.

"So, what's your plans for college?" I asked bringing my attention back to Cassidy. Beck chuckled to himself.

"Fashion designing." She answered causing Beck to mutter something under his breath.

"Yes?" I asked already annoyed.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He asked seductively as he took a sip of whatever he was drinking.

"No." I answered the same time Dallas did, earning a glare from Cassidy.

"Actually, you can go, we really don't mind." Cassidy butted in.

"I'm fine." I said before Beck could stand up.

"Awkward." Dez laughed as everyone glared at him but Beck shrugged.

"So, Dez. What are you planning to do for college?" I asked trying to get to know all my friends better.

"Film. It's my calling." He said dramatically. "I'm going to be Austin's music video director." He said proudly.

"Nice." I said high fiving him.

"Finished." Cassidy said handing me her book. The sketch was of the bonfire and me and Beck sitting behind it. You couldn't really tell it was us, because it was a sketch, but it was beautiful.

"This is amazing." I said.

"Thanks." She smiled. "Dallas, do you like it?" She asked and he nodded.

"Uhm, how about you, Trish? Plans for college?"

"I'm going to be in public relations and work for Austin too. I'm going to be his PR/Manager." She grinned.

"You're all going to work together, sounds perfect." I smiled truly happy for all my friends. "Dallas?"

"Thought you'd never ask." He said giving me a shy smile. "Maybe learn about business management." He shrugged.

"Beck?" I asked awkwardly so he didn't feel left out.

"What?" He asked obviously not listening.

"Plans, for college." I said.

"Gross." He replied taking another sip of his beer. "When are we getting out of here?"

"We're not." I said already tired of him.

"You freshmen are so stuck up." He said rolling his eyes. "Can we go for a walk? Just to talk."

I looked back at Trish and the others. Dez and Trish weren't paying attention and Cassidy gave me an encouraging nod. Dallas looked a little worried but didn't meet my eyes.

"I'm really not up for a walk." I said honestly as Dallas smiled a little.

"You'll love it." Cassidy butted in again.

"Let's go." Beck said. "I just want to talk." He said as I got up and started walking with him.

"Listen, freshman." He said but I decided not bothering to correct him. "I get it, you're not putting out. But I want to teach you something about that boy you have a crush on."

"I don't have a crush on anyone." I lied.

"The blonde one that's with my friend." He said throwing his beer into the ocean. "Don't even think about it."

"I wasn't. I'm not." I said.

"Kira will not shut up if a boy dumps her, ok? And second, he'll go out a few times with you, bang you, and never speak to you again. That's his rule." He said. "And since you are a freshman, there's your fair warning."

"What?" I said. "Austin is my friend so that'll never happen! And, I don't believe you." I said defending my friend. "He's a good guy."

"Open your eyes." He said annoyed rolling his eyes. "We don't do labels, it's easier to stop messing with the girl if we aren't introduced to everyone as their boyfriends." He said.

"I can't believe guys like you." I said walking back to the bonfire.

"He's just like me. Ask any of your friends over there. I know for a fact Cassidy did him too back when they were both freshmen." He said. "You look the most innocent, freshman."

"Stop talking about my friends." I said back.

"They aren't all your friends." He said but I ignored him.

"Back so soon?" Cassidy asked leaning her head on Dallas's shoulder.

"He really isn't my type." I said shrugging.

"He's just looking for a little fun." She said back.

"Well maybe Ally isn't." Dallas said moving his shoulder so Cassidy lifted her head off.

"What happened to Dez and Trish?" I asked.

"They went to go by pizza." Dallas answered. "Where's Beck?"

"He's probably heading home." I replied as he gave me a half smile and Cassidy got up.

"I'm leaving." She stated. I expected Dallas to get up and stop her but he didn't.

"Night." Dallas said making me feel even more uncomfortable.

"I think, maybe-"

"I know she likes me." He said as I bit my lip. "We've been friends for so long, I don't know if I want to ruin that with her."

"Oh." I said awkwardly. "Maybe you could try?" I asked.

"I don't know, she has, sort of a rep." He said.

"What kind?" I asked curiously grabbing a marshmallow from the bag.

"She sleeps around a lot, like Kira." He said.

"Oh." I said again.

"She even slept with Austin, I mean, he's one of my best friends." He said looking into the flames.

"Oh." I managed to say without my voice cracking.

"Where's everyone?" Austin asked.

"They left, but Dez and Trish should be back soon with pizza." Dallas answered.

"Why'd they go?" Kira asked. "I told him specifically he was to go home with you." She rolled her eyes annoyed.

"Uh, actually we talked and decided things weren't going to... happen." I said no matter how stupid it sounded.

"Well there's always Cassidy." She shrugged.

"Don't talk about her like she's a slut." Austin said. To be honest, there's been nothing but tension between them two.

"I was only kidding." She said innocently.

"I can't do this, not anymore." Austin said.

"Do what?" Kira said challenging.

"I don't think we're going to work out." He said as she gasped. Me and Dallas awkwardly avoiding eye contact with them.

"If it's about you hooking up with Jessica, it's cool, we aren't friends anymore." She said.

"Oh. My. Gosh." Austin said frustrated. "It has nothing to do with anyone but us, we aren't working out."

"Why do you always have to ruin everyone's nights?" She asked pissed. "Take me home." She said standing up.

"Fine." He said getting up.

"We'll talk in the car." She said walking, both of them forgetting we were here.

"Wow." Dallas said as they finally left. "Not a fun night, is it?"

"Nope." I said depressingly. "Not even in the mood for pizza." I sighed.

"Well you're going to eat it. You look like you weight 80 pounds." He joked.

"I do." I answered seriously and he froze and looked like he was ready to apologize but I started laughing.

"Ally." He said after he stopped laughing. "Another reason why I'm not trying with Cassidy, is because, I kind of want to take you out on a date." He asked and I immediately blushed. Not because I liked him, just because I have a problem.

"That's, uhm, sweet." I smiled an apologetic smile. "I-"

"Pizza's here!" Dez shouted halfway here.

"Wait for me!" Austin shouted from the beach's parking lot.

"Well hurry up." Trish shouted back walking next to Dez.

"Where is everyone?" Trish asked but I just answered with a shrug.

Later-

Dear Song Book,

Tonight was extremely awkward, uncomfortable, a little disappointing, but thinking of the perks, I learned more about my friends and their plans for the future. Dez, Trish, and Austin are all going to be working together and I couldn't be happier for them. And no matter how hard I try to just be happy for them, I think about how jealous I am. They've all known each other since they were little and will forever, they're so close and will always have a stronger friendship with each other then me.

I don't know where to begin. Dallas asked me out. I'm pretty sure Cassidy hates me. Kira's never liked me but I don't really care about her. Austin broke up with her. Beck gave me some really weird advice. And told me something about Austin. I don't know if it's true, or if I want to believe it. I didn't believe him at first but then I learned he slept with Cassidy and some girl named Jessica. Is that really why he doesn't like labels? I get so confused and frustrated thinking about it. Apart of me if saying it's true and the other part says it's not.

I need sleep. I want to sleep in. For the week. It's almost December and I can't wait for winter break. I just hope the year goes by slow though, I don't want them to leave me.

- Ally Dawson


	12. Chapter 12

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

I want to start off saying I'm sorry I've been writing more songs instead of writing down my own personal thoughts. But in my defense, my personal thoughts are shown through my songs. I'm still sorry though. My last entry was in November, I think, and since then it's been just songs and random notes. I've been finishing more songs and I know it's because all of my friends are my inspiration. I'm still learning to enjoy life and haven't even lived it to the fullest yet but it's a nice slow progress. I should probably write down how my life is currently like.

Trish is my best friend and I couldn't ask for anybody better. Austin and Dez are like my partners in crime, Dez cracking me up all the time. Austin has been making a bigger name for himself over the internet with song covers. I wrote a few songs for him to sing but haven't gave him any yet. I don't know how to tell him about my songwriting but I hope I do it soon. I really like him, of course. But there are so many reasons why we can't be together so I decided to keep it to my self. The first reason, he told us the other day he's going to try to work things out with Kira again. Speaking of crushes, Dallas still has a huge one on me and has been making it pretty obvious to all of us. In the meantime, Cassidy has been acting really weird around me because of it.

School is a bit nicer, lunch time is my favorite time because I get to see my friends. I look forward to it every morning and my dad keeps telling me he's proud and couldn't be happier. Every morning he even wakes me up saying to think of the perks in every situation, like my mom did. I'm currently getting straight A's and I'm pretty sure my ceramics teacher doesn't completely hate me anymore.

Next week we're all going to Trish's house for a secret Santa's party. I'm Dez's secret Santa and I already bought him a gift. It's lotion that smells like chocolate. He mentioned it once how cool it would be and luckily, I found some. He's so goofy and has the weird taste and sees the world so uniquely, I love him so much. I'm a little nervous because at the party, they do this tradition where we have to stand up and guess our Santa. More excited than nervous, the way it's supposed to be.

- Ally Dawson

**Week later-**

Austin's POV

"My turn!" I shout standing up in front of my friends as they all are seated on the couches. "I got a new pair of sneakers!" I said flaunting them. "I think my secret Santa is… myself!"

"You got yourself?" Trish said. "No fair!"

"Who knows me better than myself?" I asked.

"I got myself too." Dallas laughed as we high fived knowing we switched.

"What did you buy yourself?" Ally laughed rolling her eyes at Dallas.

"A couple of shirts." He shrugged.

"You're turn!" I said pulling Ally up from the couch.

"Ok." She smiled taking a deep breath. "I got this necklace." She said holding it from her neck. "It's blue and it says `friends forever'. I think Trish is my secret Santa?" Everyone cheered as Trish nodded her head and then they hugged and I snapped a picture.

"Hey!" Ally said. "Delete that."

"No, it came out nice." I smiled.

"Smell me!" Dez said jumping up. "It's my turn."

"We know! You chocolate freak!" Dallas said laughing.

"I smell beautiful." Dez said. "Ally, are you my secret Santa?" He asked and she nodded. "I knew it!" Dez said as they hugged too.

"Ok, Cassidy, you're next." I said and she stood up.

"I got a forever 21 gift card and a new bag." She smiled showing her bag off. "Dez?"

"You are correcto. Chicks dig that stuff." He said hugging her too.

"Ok, so who gave me 50 bucks?" Trish said getting up and sounded upset as everyone's laughter died and grew quiet.

"Free money without working? I love it!" She sang and hugged Cassidy, since she was the only one left.

"For a second I thought you were going to kill me." Cassidy joked.

"Don't you just love the holidays?" I asked Ally as she nodded.

"Bringing everyone together, to the point where we almost want to kill each other." She laughed. "Can you pass these out while I go to the bathroom?" She asked handing me a bag and making her way upstairs.

"More gifts from Ally!" I shouted standing up and grabbing everyone's attention. I handed everyone the small gifts that each had our names on it. We all opened them at the same time and they were picture frames. Each picture was the same and it was taken when we went to the beach. Me, Ally, Trish, Dez, Cassidy and Dallas, all standing together in our beach clothes in front of my truck on a sunny afternoon.

"Ally is so sweet." Dallas said as everyone was a little quiet. No one cheered with loud noise but was in awe with her gifts. We all knew it was because there were five more months before we leave her and she hated that, we all did.

"I'm going to miss her so much when I go to college. I hate that we have to leave her." I said.

"Me too." Trish said.

"Me three." Dez said.

"Me four." Cassidy added.

"Me five." Dallas chuckled.

"Same." Ally said walking down the stairs.

"You would be the odd ball." I said standing up. "Same." I mocked her, hugging her tightly, spinning her around.

"Austin." She laughed. "I-can't.. breathe!" She yelled when I finally put her down.

"Well, we have to get going." Dallas said followed by Cassidy and Dez.

"He's my ride." Dez said as Cassidy nodded too.

"Bye. Love you guys." Trish said.

"Aw. It's a Christmas miracle! Trish is showing emotion!" Dez laughed as he hugged her bye.

Ally's POV

"I have another present for you." Austin said grabbing my hand and pulling me up stairs, holding my picture frame in the other.

"Austin!" I yelled catching my balance. "You almost made me trip!"

"You would trip going UP the stairs." He laughed as we reached the top.

"You will never stop with the `you would' jokes." I rolled my eyes to his smirk.

"Typical Ally." He shrugged with a playful smirk. "Here we are." He said as he opened up his door.

"Are you ready for your gift? It's nothing big but I thought you'd might like it." He said handing me what looks like a book wrapped in wrapping paper.

"A new journal." I said smiling once I opened it, feeling really sentimental like I was going to cry.

"You write in the back of your other book so I guessed it was time for a new one." He shrugged.

"Thank you." I said finally looking up at him. "I love it." I said and hugged him tight. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me in.

"I love you." I thought out loud and froze when I realized what I said. "I got you something too.. kind of." I said changing the subject before he could process what I just said.

"You already got me another gift." He said lifting up the picture frame from his desk.

"This one is personal." I said and he looked confused. "I wrote it." I said and he still looked confused. I sat on his bed and motioned for him to come sit by me and he did. "I write." I said.

"I know." He laughed motioning to my journal he bought me.

"More than just personal thoughts." I laughed.

"Poems?" He asked.

"Songs. Which, I guess are like poems but different." I said.

"Really?" He smiled looking deep into my eyes really proud like.

"Mhmm." I answered. "And I love watching you perform and I've been working on this song for a while now and I finally finished it."

"Ally, you're amazing and so creative and deep." He said.

"How do you know if it sucks or not?" I laughed.

"Because." He answered. "Just cause." We both started laughing when we realized it was like the day we went to the party and he was driving me home.

"Can I read it?" He asked and I nodded pulling the paper out of my bag.

"I was actually hoping, you'd perform it for the talent show." I said as he read it. I watched his eyes move from left to right quickly, as they moved more along the page, his smile spreading wider.

"This sounds more of a duet. I'll perform it at the talent show." He smiled. "If you sing it with me." He added.

**Review? :D**


	13. Chapter 13

Austin's POV

"I uh, can't sing." Ally answered me after a moment.

"That's a lie." I said noticing she was fidgeting with her necklace and didn't make eye contact.

"Ok, it's a lie." She said. "How did you know?"

"When you speak there's this ring to your voice, all singers have it, like me." I answered. "And you're really easy to read." I smiled but she frowned.

"I know." She sighed. "But I'm working on that."

"So, will you?" I asked again.

"I can't." She answered.

"Why?"

"Stage fright." She said. "I don't really..want to talk about it."

"Alright. Anyways,thank you, Ally." I said giving her an awkward sitting down hug. "You're one of the closest friends." I said as I heard her sniffle. "Are you crying?" I asked not breaking out of the hug and she nodded.

"I have never felt so loved and accepted and I am so grateful for all of you guys." She said resting her head on my shoulder as I held her tighter.

"We will never leave you." I whispered.

"Austin. I have to ask." She said nervously pulling out of the hug. "You're so sweet and kind.."

"And?" I asked.

"I heard some rumors. And I know, well I hope, they aren't true." She asked making eye contact with sadness.

"Rumors." I said knowing what she was talking about.

"Yeah, the one where you don't like labels... because..uhm, all you wanted was...'bang some girl'."

"I use to be like that but not anymore." I said reassuring her. "There's so much more to relationships than just sex and it took me a really long time to realize that." I laughed in disbelief with myself. "It has to be important. You have to love or at least care for that other person."

"And you love Kira?" She asked her eyes watering.

"No." I answered. "But I like her, even though she's cheated a few times."

"Cheated?" Ally asked shocked. "Why are you still going out with her if it seems like she doesn't like you the way you really like her." She asked confused whipping a small tear away.

"I want to, once in my life, make a relationship work. Or have the right to call it a relationship. I want to talk things out and get to know her, fight and forgive.." I answered. "Don't you ever feel that way? You know, I think Dallas likes you." I said.

"Everyone thinks that." She said defeated. "I don't like him, that way. Some people have hinted towards me liking him too, but it's not true. I've never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss, but I know when I like someone or don't."

"Never?" I asked and she shook her head no.

"That guy Kira invited to the bonfire kept telling me to go home with him, but I don't want to experience any of that with just anyone." She said. "Even just a simple kiss or when someone holding my hand, I want it to be real." She said. "I know none of you guys, well most.." She said scared. "Would have never let me go with that guy but I was still a little scared." She shrugged but I could tell this was a big deal for her.

"Ally." I said as she whipped another tear away and blinked a few times.

"Yes?" She asked sniffling.

"I want you to forget about me liking Kira, just for right now. Ok?" I asked.

"Why?" She asked but nodded anyways.

"I just want to make sure your first kiss is with someone who cares for you and isn't just using you. I want to make sure your first kiss is with someone who actually loves you." I said leaning in closer on the bed. "Is that ok?" I asked permission holding her hand gently. She nodded slightly and whipped away her last tear on her cheek.

I leaned in even closer till I could feel her soft breath and could feel her nervousness. I pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear as her hand fell and landed just above my knee. Her eyes closed slowly and softly and so did mine as we both leaned in a little more. Her other hand landing softly on my chest, her fragile wrist resting and holding her just close enough to lean on me but hold herself up too. My lips met her soft, slightly parted, untouched lips. At first I focused on just the kiss, trying to make it as perfect and gentle as possible. But they did what they wanted, they moved them slowly as our lips moved synchronized and gently but with so much passion and love. Her hand moved up from my chest and found it's way to the back of my neck as I found myself pulling her deeper into the kiss.

"Hey, Ally. Wanna come-" Trish tried opening the door and we broke apart quickly. "Dude, unlock this door. I go to the bathroom for one minute and you already stole my friend away from me."

Ally got up from the bed and opened the door smiling, traces of her crying all gone.

"Oh." Trish said standing at the door. "I uh, didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"What?" Ally asked scared. "No, you're not." She said.

"Ok." Trish said glancing at me and back at Ally not buying it. "Well, what's up?" She asked.

"I was just leaving." Ally said.

"You were?" I asked.

"I have a shift at the Sonic Boom." She said.

"We'll give you a ride." Trish said.

"I'd rather walk, enjoy the fresh air." She smiled grabbing the journal I bought her.

**Later-**

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

Austin kissed me. Does it sound weird that it was a friendship kiss? He said he wanted to kiss me to make sure my first kiss was with someone who actually loves me. I really do love him. I love all of them. It's the best feeling in the world but it scares me. I actually liked the kiss. I wanted to keep kissing him and show him that the kiss for me, meant something more. He bought me a journal and I really do need one, since the one I'm writing in right now is the last page. He's so sweet, I opened it up and the first page read

"Write about us sometime."

If only he knew every single entry was always about them and my life. They were the majority of it of course. My birthday is in a few days, it actually lands on the talent show when Austin is going to perform my song. Thinking about his voice singing one of my songs, written just for him, gives me shivers.

Love,

Ally Dawson

**:D Review?**


	14. Chapter 14

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

I was leaning against the entrance door waiting for Austin to perform. The others were in backstage helping out. It's my birthday today and him performing my song in front of everyone was incredible. I remember everything perfectly. Austin sitting down on the stool, telling everyone through the microphone that the song was written by one of his best friends and that it was really special for the both of us.

_"When you're on your own _  
_Drowning alone _  
_And you need a rope that can pull you in _  
_Someone will throw it_

_And when you're afraid _  
_That you're gonna break _  
_And you need a way to feel strong again _  
_Someone will know it_

_And even when it hurts the most _  
_Try to have a little hope _  
_Cause someone's gonna be there when you don't _  
_When you don't_

_If you wanna cry, _  
_I'll be your shoulder _  
_If you wanna laugh, _  
_I'll be your smile _  
_If you wanna fly, _  
_I will be your sky _  
_Anything you need that's what I'll be_

_If you wanna climb, _  
_I'll be your ladder _  
_If you wanna run, _  
_I'll be your road _  
_If you want a friend, doesn't matter when _  
_Anything you need, that's what I'll be _  
_You can come to me_

_You can come to me, _  
_Yeah.."_

I really can't believe how perfect everything is. The real world isn't as bad as I thought. After the talent show we all went out to eat for my birthday. The others left and it was just me, Austin, and Trish. I told them I really wish my mom was here to see everything and Trish suggested I go visit her at the cemetery. We're actually on our way there. I'm nervous but I think it's time I finally go to her grave.

- Ally Dawon

Flash back~

As Austin sang my song in front of everyone I knew, I was finding myself literally being drawn to him. I started walking along the side pathway to the edge of the stage looking up at him, realizing in that moment I was in love with him. Really in love. He wasn't some crush.

"That song was written by Ally Dawson. It's actually her birthday today..." He said followed by the crowd cheering and random birthday wishes.

He motioned for me to go on stage but I am way too nervous. I start walking up the three steps on stage concentrating on him and his smile instead of the crowd. I try thanking him but nothing came out, probably because I am still aware there was a huge crowd in front of us. But he stopped me before I could say anything by putting a finger on my lips telling me to shush.

"Just come here." He said opening his arms up for a hug. I jumped into his arms and hugged him tight thanking him for everything.

They all started to chant for us to kiss and then I pulled away embarrassed. Austin laughed a little and I started walking off stage, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back, kissing me a quick kiss on the cheek. And then we started to walk off together.

End flashback~

"What are you thinking about?" Trish asked.

"Nothing." I smiled.

"You're blushing." She laughed.

"She's always blushing." Austin said driving as his phone rang, again.

"Just break up with her already." Trish groaned. "She's so annoying and always wants to talk about lip gloss and nail polish."

"No, I'm still going to try to make this relationship work." He said and it snapped me back to reality. There was no way Austin was going to try to be with me. He was too busy with Kira.

"I get it, you want to have a real relationship for the first time. Doesn't mean it has to be with her." Trish said as I stood quiet feeling awkward in the back.

"Can we not talk about this?" He said seriously and Trish stood quiet giving up.

"I think we're here." I said looking out the window.

"Yup, this is it. Are you ready?" Austin asked and I nodded.

"I'm ready." I said.

**10 Min Later-**

Regular POV

Ally looked around the cemetery and was pleased to find that she was the only one there. She told Austin and Trish she'd feel most comfortable if she was alone. She took a deep breath and started walking along the field to her mother's grave, seeing it for the first time.

"Penni Michelle Dawson, loving wife and mother." She read out loud sitting down next to it, her elbows resting on her knees and her hands holding up her head.

"I feel so stupid." She muttered a little laugh looking around again. "Talking to you out loud when you're really not here. I guess I'll just talk like I'm writing in my song book."

"I miss you." She said her voice cracking but she didn't care. "A lot." She added this time crying trying to keep a smile. "After the accident, I sunk into a depression and developed anxiety. It go so bad, Mom. I couldn't even go to school. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I couldn't think straight!" She cried.

"Dad thought it'd be best if I spent a while at the hospital, he thought I was going to hurt myself or something." She shrugged whipping away tears even though it was no use since she kept crying. "I broke down, Mom, I screamed and cried and threw a tantrum I don't really remember too well. And Dad was done. We live in Miami now and he put me in school. But I promise, I wanted to change. I wanted to live life and think of the perks like we did when you were still here. I, uh, made some really nice friends. They're my best friends. They actually took me here today to see you."

"They are the only people I've ever known to let me in and feel apart of something. They're all 18 and heading to college. I can't tell you how much I'm proud of them. I did drugs and went to my first party and wrote a song, and Austin performed it. So much has happened since the 8th grade. I don't really know how to say this but, I love Austin. But he likes someone else. I know he loves me, but only as a friend."

"It hurts just as much as everything else, but it's not the same kind of sadness. I'm happy we're fine as friends." Ally said biting her lip as tears streamed down her face. "I want you here with me, Mom." Her voice cracking again when she said mom. "I want you here giving me dating advice and fashion advice and music advice..."

"I'm sorry I never told my counselor what me and you both know." She said apologetic tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry I'm the reason you're dead. It was all my fault!" She screamed hitting her fists on the ground. "I told you, I begged you, I forced you to come home from work that day. All because I wanted your help in writing a stupid song for an audition to a music school. I can't believe myself. I killed you." She whispered.

"I was being selfish and stupid. And you loved me enough to listen and come home from work. And that truck hit you. You wouldn't have been there on that road if I didn't call you. If I didn't keeping calling you, leaving those voice messages..."

"I can't even sit in the front of a car anymore. I'm afraid of Karma. I deserve it. I deserve to die." She said. "I'm sorry!" She shouted crying. Ally started shouting and screaming hitting her fists on the ground and then hitting her head over and over again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She screamed hitting herself again and again. "Why can't I be normal? Why did I have to kill you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She repeated over and over again until she felt someone trying to pick her up. She kicked and fought but finally gave up and let the person hold her as she cried.

**Ahh sad chapter D:**


	15. Chapter 15

Austin's POV

"That was intense." Trish said as we drove home, finally breaking the silence.

"I thought it would have helped her." I whispered glancing at Ally sleeping in the back seat.

"I know, me too!" She whispered back. "I'm scared, I really can't believe she thinks she killed her own mother. What exactly did you hear her screaming?"

"She asked why did she have to kill her and she kept saying she was sorry." I said feeling guilty I was repeating what she said.

"Maybe we should tell her she could talk to us-"

"No. I know she doesn't want that. We should let her dad know when we drop her off and give her a few days just to cool off, a mental holiday, I guess." I said.

"You're right. She'll probably freak out if we ask her all these questions." She said as my phone rang and she rolled her eyes. "Kira." She said with disgust.

"I'm forwarding it." I said.

"She's cheated on you so many times." She said. "I don't see why you don't move on to someone who likes you and you like her." She said gesturing towards Ally silently.

"She's sleeping, you don't have to gesture to her silently." I said ignoring the main point.

"Why don't you?" She asked not forgetting the main point.

"It's a long list." I said.

"It's a long ride back home." She said and I sighed.

"She's too young for me." I started.

"You've went out with girls younger than you before." She said.

"I don't want to put any more pressure on her, she's already obviously dealing with a lot." I said.

"Austin, if anything you're the one person who she could really talk to and you could be the one to break down her walls." She said.

"I know..." I sighed.

"Then what else is stopping you?" She asked.

"We're leaving. Imagine how she's going to feel when we all leave as friends. But let's just say we get together, leaving her behind all alone after being in a committed relationship."

"It's called long distance relationships." She said.

"Leaving her as a friend is already bad enough, especially in the condition she's already in. And on top of that, we're friends. If one thing happens that ruins us, we will never be friends after that. And I know for a fact that I don't want that and neither does she." I said.

"Then don't let anything tear you two apart." She gave a simple answer.

"I- no one knows- that's not possible, ok? Something always happens." I said.

"Oh." She said looking at me. "Austin, you're scared of commitment."

"What? No I'm not. I'm trying to make a commitment with Kira, which proves I'm not scared." I defended myself.

"Exactly. You and Kira both know how it's going to end, we all do. So you're really not committing if you know there is no way in hell it'll work." She said.

"That's not true." I lied.

Later-

"I'll take care of her. Sorry about that." Her dad said as I laid Ally down on the couch, she was still sleeping.

"Don't apologize." I said.

"I'll talk to her about what she said and try convincing her to go back to counseling." He said.

"I don't know if Ally really is up for telling someone-"

"She has to. She can't do this anymore. She can't keep things bottled up anymore, because it all adds up until she freaks and breaks down." He said trying to hold himself together as he stared at his daughter lying on the couch.

"Can you tell her that we love her." Trish said and Mr. Dawson nodded.

"You guys are the best things that has happened to my daughter." He said hugging Trish and then hugging me. "I'm just scared of what'll happen when you guys leave for college." He said pulling out of the hug.

"By the time we leave, she'll be in better shape. We'll help her." I said.

"I hope so." Her dad said looking back at his daughter.

**Ahh short chapter D: The book/movie is really depressing! I'm trying to keep it around similar plot lines around the book :) Don't worry, it has a happy ending but takes a while to get there q: The story is throughout a year, remember? Next chapter it's a New Years Eve Party!**


	16. Chapter 16

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

Austin has made it clear we're not going to work out. Trish told me it was a bit obvious I had feelings for him but he wanted to be with Kira. And I know that, he told me that day he kissed me in his room. I want to move on. I want to go back to being friends with them and none of this drama. I learned so much, and now I need to learn how to move on. Tonight's the New Year's Eve party at Trish's and Austin's. Everyone is going and I have one thing on my mind. A New Year Eve's kiss.

With Dallas.

- Ally Dawson

**Later-**

"Brownie?" Cassidy asked waving yet another tray in my face.

"No thanks." I said as Dallas gladly accepted one sitting next to me. I was sitting here with him, Trish, Dez, and Cassidy. Austin and Kira were talking in the hallway. It sounded like they were fighting but I didn't want to try to eavesdrop or pay much attention. I was focused on moving on from something that will never happen.

"This year never ends." Dez complained looking at his watch. "We still have ten more minutes till a new year."

"18 more days till my birthday!" Austin shouted from the hall.

"I can't wait to head to college with you." Cassidy said to Dallas acting if they were together.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Dallas smiled sweetly leaning closer to me as Cassidy ignored his comment.

"So, what are your plans for next year Ally?" Kira asked walking into the living room with Austin.

"Finishing up last year of high school." I shrugged.

"That's so sad, you'll be all alone again." She said sorry for me.

"The college we're heading to is only two hours away. We'll visit her all the time." Trish said.

"We'll even pick you up some days." Austin smiled.

"You guys are so sweet." I smiled rubbing it in Kira's face. She was seriously such a bitch all the time.

"7 more minutes." Dez said jumping in his seat.

"Ok, ok." Trish said. "Don't get crazy." She laughed.

"Austin, let's go to your room." Kira demanded standing up. "Now." She added pulling him away.

"God, I hate her." Trish said as they left up stairs causing everyone to laugh in agreement.

"She's alright." Cassidy said but faked a small laugh.

"So, Ally." Dallas said grabbing my attention. "I was wondering if you would want to go to the school dance with me." He asked. "For valentine's day." He added.

I quickly pictured Austin and me kissing on his bed. Then I pictured him walking off to his room with Kira. I seen Cassidy's glare but Dallas's sweet smile.

"I'd love you." I answered as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Aw." Dez said. "That's cute." He said as Trish half smiled.

"4 minutes!" Trish yelled. "I'll go get them." She said leaving.

"I don't want to steal a kiss from you, Ally. So I'll ask. Can I be your New Year's Kiss?" He asked and I nodded.

Austin's POV

"There's no way I could make it without you." Kira read a picture frame of him and Ally down by the beach. "That's the gayest wannabe hipster quote I have ever read."

"Put that down." I said grabbing it away from her.

"Where did she steal that lame quote from?" She asked.

"We came up with it together." I said.

"Oh, sorry." She said shrugging and sat down on my bed, where Ally sat that one day. "Kiss me?" She asked putting lip gloss on and to be honest, everything about her was a turn off. I don't even know how I put up with her for so long.

"Guys, there's like 3 more minutes before midnight." Trish said knocking on the door.

"Kiss you later." I muttered as I opened the door, Kira following me walking out.

I walked downstairs and spotted Ally and Dallas, together. His arm was wrapped around her as they sat together. He whispered something and she let out a small laugh. I wish that was me. Wait, no I don't! I'm making things work in a healthy adult relationship with Kira.

"Two minutes." Dez said gesturing for all of us to sit down. "I love new year's kisses at midnight."

"Chick." I laughed as he gasped.

"I do too." I laughed sitting down next to Ally, Kira sitting next to me.

**(It's Dez, Trish, Kira, Austin, Ally, Dallas, Cassidy, then Dez since it's a circle)**

"Seriously, where are your guy's parents? They're almost never here." Ally asked us.

"Work." We both answered rolling our eyes.

"A minute." Dez said telling them to sh.

Everyone was quiet waiting.

"Thirty seconds!" Dez whispered yelled leaning closer to Trish as she looked happily annoyed. I glanced at Cassidy who was glaring at Ally since she was leaning her head on Dallas's shoulder. I guess it would be awkward since she's the only one without anyone.

Ally's POV

"One!" Everyone shouted but before I could cheer Dallas cupped my chin and turned it towards his and kissed me. He kissed me a little slowly and sloppy at first but the kiss continued and it was... ok. It was like every other kiss everyone shared in real life, but there was no spark. I broke the kiss first and gave him a small smile.

Austin's POV

I dreaded the kiss. I kissed Kira and she kept giggling throughout the kiss and her lip gloss made me want to vomit. She kept trying to stick her tongue in my mouth so I just ended the kiss completely. I looked at Ally who was smiling at Dallas. She liked the kiss?!

"I'm leaving. I'm tired." Cassidy said getting up. "You're still my ride Dallas, right?" She asked.

"Sorry, Ally. I promised her." He said getting up.

"It's fine. Happy New Years." She smiled sweetly and waved them bye.

**2 weeks later-**

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

I should have never let Dallas kissed me or accept to go to the Valentine's dance with him. After that New Year's Eve party he's been all up on me and it's annoying me so much! How could a person be so clingly? He insists on picking me up for school, hanging out after my shift at Sonic Boom, dropping me off at my house, and going everywhere holding my hand and wrapping his arm around me like we're a couple. And we are NOT a couple. The whole thing just frustrates me so freaken bad.

He's not the only one bugging me. My dad has been nagging me to go back to seeing a counselor. And I had to a couple of times till I promised him I just had to let it out at her grave and I'm fine now. And I really am. But he still mentions it every now and then. But, the only worries I have are my friends leaving, and hoping Dallas leaves me alone. And Austin of course. Getting over Austin. I really have accepted my mother's death and slowly forgiving myself for being the one who caused the crash. No counselor can make me forgive myself any faster.

I need to hurry and get ready now. I'm meeting Austin at Sonic Boom so we can write music together. We're officially partners and have been getting along like we use to, as friends. I just learned to hid my feelings and pretend they don't exist. And it's been working.

- Ally Dawson

**Review? :{) I promise 2 chapters tomorrow :3 **


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Ally's POV

"What a fun dance." I mumbled sarcastically.

"I wasn't even in the mood to come, Trish made me." Austin said as we both leaned against the wall watching all of our friends dance.

"Maybe Kira was busy with something really important and had to cancel." I said trying to comfort him.

"She said she just didn't want to come to some lame school dance." Austin sighed.

"Oh." I said feeling a little hurt too. I thought I'd feel happy they were realizing things weren't working out, but seeing him like this wasn't worth it.

"And I broke up her with." He added looking down at his feet.

"What happened to trying to make things work?" I asked staring at him looking at his feet.

"She cheated on me, again. She didn't even care that I broke up with her because of it." He said looking up at me.

"She wasn't the right girl for you." I said honestly giving him a weak smile.

"I wanted her to be, I just wanted a real relationship, you know?" He asked. "Anyways, why are you leaning on the wall being a wallflower when you should be out there dancing with your butt off with Dallas, your date." He said emphasizing that it was a date.

"I don't like him.. that way." I said now looking down at my own feet.

"A dance is innocent, but if you don't like him, you can't keep leading him on by accepting. You have to talk to him and tell him you don't want to date him." He said.

"I can do that?" I asked innocently making him laugh and nod.

"You have to tell him." He said.

"Austin, want to dance?" I asked.

"I think Dallas might get a little jealous, he's been staring at us talk for a while." He said as we both glanced at him already looking at us.

"After we dance, I'll dance with him and talk to him afterwards." I said promising myself.

"Alright, Alls." He said reaching out his hand. I stared at it for a moment hesitating. "What's wrong?"

"Um. The wall does seem pretty comfortable now that I think about it." I laughed nervously trying to talk myself out.

"You're not much of a wallflower anymore, Ally." Austin said gesturing to his hand again, and this time I took it. "No regrets." He said pulling me into the dancing crowd filled with all of our friends that I loved so much.

"Just love." I said back as smiles spread across our faces.

**Later-**

"Dallas, I want to talk." I said biting my lip nervously. We were outside of the dance in the hall.

"Anything babe." He said but I ignored the babe comment.

"I think.." I said. "That we.."

"Should take things to the next level? Me too, I really like you Ally." He said and I frowned.

"I think we should go to Trish's party-"

"As an official boyfriend/girlfriend couple? I was just thinking that." He smiled as I sighed closing my eyes in frustration, he didn't even pay attention, EVER.

"Dallas, things are awkward-"

"Because of Cassidy." He said cutting me off. "I know but I promise I'll talk to her." He said grabbing my hand. "Anything else you want to talk about?"

"Nope. Looks like you covered everything." I smiled sarcastically but he didn't pick up on it.

**Later-**

Dear Song Book,

I just don't even know anymore. I promise I'll talk to him at Trish's little party she's throwing. I finally made up my decision. I want to talk to Austin about us. I'm tired of all this nonsense drama and with Kira and him broke up, we can finally… just talk about us. We both know, everyone knows, me and Austin have feelings for each other.. they're just complicated.

- Ally Dawson

"Hello?" I answered my phone.

"It's Trish. There's drama." She said quickly.

"Noooo." I whined into my cell phone. "I'm supposed to be avoiding all that." I groaned.

"Ally, you're in the middle of it." She said.

"But why?" I complained exhausted. "Cassidy hates me even more? Kira? Dallas thinks we're a couple?"

"I'm telling you this because you're my best friend." She said.

"Continue." I said.

"Kira cheated on my brother." She said.

"I think everyone in Miami is aware." I mumbled sitting on my bed. "They broke up anyways."

"With Dallas." She finished.

"What?!" I said jumping up.

"I am so sorry, Ally." She apologized. "I hate being the one to tell you."

"It's fine, Trish, really. I don't like Dallas remember. Who knows?" I asked.

"Dallas and Kira obviously. Austin doesn't know it was with Dallas. Cassidy knows because Kira knows she likes Dallas and rubbed it in her face, they're sort of frienemies." She rushed everything.

"Oh my gosh." I said taking in everything. "Poor Austin, they've been friends since forever."

"And she kind of knows you and Austin like each other." She said quickly.

"What!?" I jumped up.

"Well it's sort of obvious but now she's.. talking about it." She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"When Cassidy wants a guy, she will do anything to get them. Even if that means messing with other people."

"Ok, I don't understand." I said.

"I think she might tell Austin that Kira cheated with Dallas, so that you guys could break up and she could be with Dallas." She said.

"No!" I said. "I wish there was way to avoid all of this."

"There is Ally. You need to break up with Dallas." She said.

"I will, tomorrow." I said hanging up.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ally's POV**

"Hey guys." I said opening the car door to see Kira sitting in the back. "And Kira." I smiled surprised.

"Hi." She said giving me a small smile then turned away. "Austin change this station." She said as Austin obeyed.

"So glad you two made up." Trish smiled sarcastically but she didn't pick up on it either. Like Dallas.

"Me and Austin went through so much together, ups and downs, but we really are trying." She smiled. "Right babe?"

"Yeah." He said not paying attention.

Through the entire car ride it was awkward because Austin and I didn't talk. The only talk was small talk between Trish and Kira. I didn't really bother, I kept trying to get Austin's attention but he still seemed depressed.

**Later-**

Austin's POV

"Why are we here?" I asked Trish as she pushed me into her room.

"I am done." She said and I knew what she was talking about. "I am tired of it, everyone else is, and especially Ally. Make up your mind."

"I don't know, ok? Me and Ally are so different and I'm leaving. Me and Kira are going to the same college!" I said.

"You and Ally's personalities complete each other. And you don't even like Kira!" She yelled smacking me. "You're hurting a lot more people than you know."

"Ally's with Dallas and I'm with Kira. We're all happy." I said in denial.

"Yeah, ok." She shrugged her shoulders sarcastically.

"I don't know what to do, ok?" I said giving up.

"You better figure it out fast. Let's go downstairs before they wonder what's taking us so long." She said walking out of her room.

"Wait." I said as she slowly came back but stopped under the door way. "I do want Ally."

"Then break up with Kira. It's simple." She said.

"No it's not!" I shouted sitting down on the bed.

"Ally's going to move on." She said walking out.

**Downstairs-**

We all sat in a circle around the coffee table in the living room. I was sitting between Kira and Ally. Focusing my attention on Dez and Trish across from me. I needed to break up with Kira by tonight and sitting here knowing it while she's all happy made me feel guilty. But thinking about how Ally feels, sitting next to me with Kira.. I feel even guiltier.

"Truth or dare." Kira suggested. "This kickback is so lame and we need to spice things up. Something the host is supposed to do." She said as Trish rolled her eyes but Dez calmed her down before she could tell her off.

"I'm in." Cassidy said smirking and from the corner of my eye I seen Kira roll her eyes.

"Then why don't you go first. Truth or dare?" Kira asked Cassidy.

"Truth." She said daring.

"Name the person you'd kiss right now if you had the chance." She smirked as the others got quiet.

"It's just a game." I laughed. "No need to be all serious or anything, you don't have to answer." I shrugged.

"Dallas." She answered ignoring me. Dallas looked a little uncomfortable but gave a weak smile. "Kira, truth.. no. Austin, truth or dare."

"Uh, dare." I said.

"I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room." She said with a smug to Kira. I immediately looked at Trish for help but she was waiting on me like everyone else. "Well." She said as Kira smiled putting gloss on.

I turned my head and kissed her fast not even thinking twice but she pulled away.

"What the hell?!" Dallas said standing up and pulling Ally behind him. "Why the hell did you just kiss my girlfriend?!"

**Short chapter but the next will be up in less than an hour :{)**


	19. Chapter 19

Ally's POV

"Austin! What the fuck!" Kira said smacking me then running away. "We are over."

"Kira!" Austin yelled running past me. "Stop!"

"I can't believe you think Ally is prettier than me." She said then glared at me. "I should kick your ass! You know what? I am, you annoying freshman!" She yelled throwing her purse on the couch and coming after me.

"Kira, no! Leave her alone!" Austin said pulling her from behind her waist. "I'm leaving." She said pushing Austin off of her.

"Dallas, stop!" I said after he pushed Austin onto the floor as Kira rolled her eyes leaving the house.

"Fuck you, Austin!" He shouted as he got up. "I'm going to kick your ass."

"Dallas!" I said standing in front of him trying to stop him.

"It's ok babe. He won't kiss you again." He said walking past me but I stopped him again.

"Oh so you can cheat on Ally with Kira but Austin gets his ass kicked when he kisses Ally?" Cassidy said.

"What?" Austin shouted hurt.

"Ally wasn't giving me any." He said. "Your girl seemed pretty easy."

"Fuck you!" He said punching him to the floor. "Don't talk about Ally."

"Dallas, you need to leave." Trish said looking at Dez for help.

"Dallas, leave." He said seriously with a low voice and Dallas slowly got up.

"Let's go Ally." He said reaching the door. "I'm sorry." He said like a child rolling his eyes.

"Leave." I said to Dallas.

"I'll go with you." Cassidy said with a small smile walking out with him, leaving me, Austin, Trish, and Dez.

"I'll see you guys later." Dez said after a minute.

"Ally." Austin spoke for the first time today directly to me. Trish excused herself and said she was going to catch up with Dez. I finally looked up at Austin not knowing what to say. Or what was going to happen.

"Austin, I-"

"I'm sorry." He said sitting down on the couch.

"For kissing me?" I asked sitting down besides him.

"We're friends." He said and I nodded knowing where this was going.

"Partners in songwriting." I added my eyes watering.

"I'm leaving and I'm leaving you here alone." He said as I rested my head on his shoulders my eye sight already blurry.

"Austin, I don't care." I decided two tears slowly crawling down my face.

"You'll be hurt more than you know when I leave, when we all leave." He said. "I can't do that to you, I can't be the reason why you'll be depressed."

"I'm not like that anymore!" I whipped my tears sitting up straight. "I won't sink into another depression, I'm getting better everyday."

"I thought that too." He said. "But I don't want to risk it."

"Bullshit!" I yelled standing up. "You wouldn't have kissed me." I accused crying in frustration. "I'm so exhausted of all of this." I said rubbing my forehead with my fingers trying to calm my headache.

"I'm sorry." He whispered about to cry to.

"So that's it?" I asked my voice cracking and he nodded then looked down. I could tell he's now crying. "Stop." I said picking his head up face me. "Don't cry over happiness you can't have because you chose not to have it." I said.

"Ally, I'm sorry." He said angry too.

"I am too." I said pissed but started crying again.

"Want to sit down?" He asked and I sat down again besides him, leaning and facing him.

Austin's POV

"We don't really pick out the best people to date." I said both of us calmer. "Why? Why do I always pick out the girls who don't give a shit about me and always cheat?" I asked.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." She said looking at me as we thought about us for a moment. "I hate that I'm so small in this world." She said after a moment.

"Ally, you're not-"

"First it was with Dallas, I felt so fucking pressured into going out with him and on top of that he didn't even like me. But even after I still didn't have the guts to go and tell him anything." I said. "No one understands me like you, and you're the one person I want and you're rejecting me. I know I'm quiet, and I should speak more. But if you knew the things that were in my head most of the time, you'd know who I really am. And how much we're alike and different, how we want the same things in life.." She said with tears in her eyes shaking her head.

"I know who you are, Alls. And you're not small, you're beautiful." I said whipping her tears away quickly and kissing her with so much passion. In this moment I wasn't thinking about the consequences but just of her, me, us. I was thinking about how much I loved her and how beautiful she is.. until she pulled away. She looked scared and a little hurt but looked deep into my eyes and at my lips.. then grabbed my neck and kissed me.

I kissed her and we fixed ourselves so I was on top of her but holding myself up a little so I didn't hurt her. My hands roamed around in her hair, loving the feeling of her underneath me and the warm electricity and love between us as our tongues glided inside our mouths perfectly.

"What happened?" She asked worried as I pulled myself up off of her.

"I should take you home, it's getting late." I said picking her up from the couch.

"I want to stay." She said but I shook my head.

"I want to take things slow." I said and she understood agreeing.

**I know I did make it different than the book here, A LOT & pulled quotes from other parts of the book.. but I like it this way. Review?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ally's POV**

Austin opened the car door for me but instead of sliding into the back, I slid into the front seat. He raises his eyebrows but I nod.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes. I'm fine." I smile and he says ok and closes the door. We drive for a while, his right hand on top of mine as he drives with his left. I lean my head against the window and close my eyes. I open my eyes when he stops singing and pulls his hand away to drive with both. I try not to think about it but my heart starts to pick up it's pace.

_"Sunday morning rain is falling."_ He sings softly and I feel myself calmer again.

"I love that song." I smiled but then frowned.

"Then why are you frowning?" He asked.

"Just thinking about today." I answer.

"And it makes you sad?" He asks.

"No!" I said. "Well, yeah. But only because we lost a few of our friends."

"Friends I've known since kindergarten." He added. "But sometimes people drift apart, they change. People sometimes leave and we can't do anything about how things play out."

I thought about that answer and knew that for better or for worse, it was true. I thought about my mom and her beautiful look on life, how I wish I still looked at it the same way she did when she was alive. I looked out the windshield and saw a big truck racing towards us, honking continuously the driver scared for his life.

"Austin!" I screamed shielding myself crying, hyperventilating within a split second. I barely heard Austin over my cry for help but concentrated hard on his voice. He patted my back and knew in that moment that we were ok. I looked up and out for the truck but we were parked on the side of the street, no traffic to be found.

"Where's the truck?" I ask whipping my tears.

"Ally, there was no truck or any traffic. It was just us on the road." He said as I took my seat belt off and looked down the road for any cars.

"There was a truck." I said hoping I'd spot one but I couldn't find one, or any cars. Did I just imagine the way my mother died?

"Ally." Austin said bringing me back to reality. "I have to get you home, so we can talk to your dad."

"What for?" I shouted.

"There was no truck." He answered sadly.

"Why am I imagining my mother's death?" I asked crying.

"Maybe it was just because you were sitting in the front and got anxiety, and how I said some people leave, and you just thought of your mom." He said apologetically.

"I don't want to be imaging her death." I cried shaking my head. "Why did I have to imagine it?" He hugged my tight, rubbing my back. "Let's just walk, we're only a few blocks down from your house."

"You're still going to talk to my dad?" I asked.

"We both are." He answered.

"We're just going to tell him, that's it." I said but he didn't respond.

**Later-**

We walked into my house and my dad greeted us. Austin told him we wanted to talk and he sat us down in the living room. I excused myself to go to the bathroom to make sure I didn't look like I was just crying but I already did so there really wasn't any use in trying to fix myself up.

"And you will be there for her every single time, for moral support?" My dad asked him as I walked back in.

"I think it'll be easier if there's someone there she trusts and won't feel judge." He said.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked sitting down next to him knowing what was coming.

"About you seeing a therapist." My dad answered as I looked both at my dad and Austin back and forth.

"Why?" I shouted. "I didn't mean to imagine her death, Dad. I didn't but-"

He muttered something under his breath depressingly like he was going to cry too at just the mention of me imaging my mother's death. I hope I didn't make him imagine it either. "You're going to talk to a professional."

"But that was it. I didn't have a panic attack or anything, just my stupid brain never knows when to stop. I don't need to talk about it I just won't sit in the front anymore." I said but he shook his head as Austin grabbed my hand.

"That's not how you're going to live your life." My dad said.

"I'll be there with you." Austin said squeezing my hand now.

"I'm fine." I responded doing my best to keep myself together.

"We can't be together if you don't get better." Austin said.

**It'll be a little differently plotted from the book because I really DONT want to make Ally like Charlie in the way that he was sexually abused :( But the theme will be the same & I'll put in the major quotes from the book:)**


	21. Chapter 21

**FIRST WEEK OF APRIL**

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

It's been a month. A month since me and Austin kissed, since I lost some people I thought were my friends, imagined her death, and Austin talking to my dad. Austin and I decided to put our relationship on a hold, until I have nothing else going on. I've been to the therapist four times, once a week, every Friday. Austin is with me every single time but I haven't really talked. I'd go in and sometimes talk about my day, but that's how far things have ever gotten. She says what's important is that I'm here and I'll talk when I'm ready. And I'm ready. Austin's picking me up right now. Wish me luck.

- Ally Dawson

"Ready?" Austin asks holding my hand and I nod.

"Ready." I said confident before walking in.

"Miss Dawson." She smiled. "How are you two today?"

"Better." I answer honestly. "I'm ready to talk."

"Good, good." She said putting on her glasses as we sat down. "Where do you want to start?" She asks.

"I, uh, don't know." I responded not thinking anything through. "Just give me a minute."

"Take all the time you need." She answered. And I ended up sitting there for about 50 minutes.

"Are you still writing in that journal? Why don't you read us one of your entries, when you're ready." She said.

"Ok." I said nervously grabbing it out of my bag and taking a deep breath. "Dear song book, I just wish that God or my dad or.." I said taking another breath. "..Austin or Trish or someone would just tell me what's wrong with me. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. So my imagination could go away." I said looking back up waiting for a judgmental stare but I didn't receive one, so I continued. "I don't want it to be like how it is now but it can't be like how it was before, because even then I wasn't ready to say goodbye, but I was happy."

"Good." She answered jotting something down on her notepad.

"She was beautiful." I answered. "She looked at the perks in every situation and always took risks, to have fun and feel free. She always talked about living life to it's fullest."

"Do you think she lived her life to the fullest?" She asked and I nodded. "There was nothing holding her back? Do you think she would have any regrets?"

I thought about it for a moment. "No, she was happy."

"You deserve to be happy too." She replied.

"How?" I asked my voice cracking but I refused to let myself cry.

"Let's talk about the day your mom passed away." She said but I shook my head.

"Ally." Austin said grabbing my attention and gave me an encouraging look.

"She, uh, was in a car accident." I answered and my therapist looked a little worried but nodded.

"Continue." She said writing something down. I thought about what she could be writing but reminded myself over and over it was her job.

"She was coming home from work, early." I said looking down messing with my nails. "Because I called her few times to hurry home. And there was this truck. And she died."

"Ally, tell us more about the crash." She said.

"What do you want me to say? She came home from work and a truck hit her, ok?!" I shouted pissed missing my mother.

"Ally, calm down." Austin said.

"Tell us about what you imagined." She asked.

"Me and Austin were driving to my house and I was thinking about my mom and then I saw a huge truck driving our way really fast and the guy driving looked really scared." I said feeling my eyes water but I refused to cry. I did enough of that and I'm tired of it.

"And you thought it was real?" She asked and I nodded.

"I was so scared and I really saw it, I really thought a truck was there." I said.

"Tell us more." She said.

"There's nothing else! We walked home!" I shouted again angrily. "Can we move on and talk about something else? I don't know why we have to talk about only my mother's death." She stared at me for a moment but nodded.

"Next time." She said pointing to the clock.

"Thank you, see you next week." I said as we walked out.

**Later-**

"Are you up for the beach concert?" Trish asked. "Austin's performing."

"Yes, fresh air and some fun sounds perfect." I answered as we stood by her locker.

"Austin sounds pretty perfect too, don't you think?" She winked.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I laughed.

"When are you guys going to tell us you're secretly dating?" She whined.

"When we start secretly dating." I said.

"Does he know that?" She laughed. "He walks you to class and you guys hold hands.."

"And that's it." I finished.

"And you guys kiss." She said.

"No we don't, well sometimes." I replied. "But we're not dating. Not until-"

"You finish your therapy course thingy." She said nodding her head.

"Why do you want us together so badly?" I ask as we walk to the cafeteria.

"Because his face lightens up by the mention of your name. I want my brother to be happy. And I want my best friend to be too." She said.

"Aw, Trish." I said.

"Aw, Ally." She smiled and we hugged like girly girls she likes to make fun of.


	22. Chapter 22

**Ally's POV**

I stood in the crowd with Trish and Dez watching Austin perform. He was singing another song we wrote, called "It's Me, It's You." I loved feeling the rush being in the crowd and watching him perform, it was magical.

"But it's me and it's you, I know we're not the same but we do what we do." He sang finishing the song. "That song was written by my best friend Ally Dawson!" He gave me credit like he always did after the end of his performances.

"Thank you." I mouth to him as he winks.

"You guys totally love each other." Dez laughed as I elbowed him.

"What are we doing after?" Trish asked.

"Pizza and beer." Dez answered burping.

"We're already doing that." Trish said rolling her eyes.

"But down at the beach for another bonfire." He said.

"I never get tired of bonfires." I smiled.

"I do, we have one like every week." Trish said.

"There's nothing else to do!" Dez said.

"Hey guys!" Austin said popping up from behind us.

"Drink?" Dez asked.

"Hit me!" He answered as Trish smacked him. "Not what I meant."

"Beg to differ." She said handing him a beer. "Want one, Ally?"

"Maybe later." I answered as we walked down to the beach.

**Later- Bonfire**

"I love bonfires." I smiled being memorized by the flames.

"You look so pretty." Austin smiled wrapping his arm around me.

"Can't hear you over the smell of alcohol." I laughed looking up at him.

"Can't hear you over the smell of not alcohol." He laughed leaning in close so his lips were inches away from mine and he laughed.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" I ask playfully batting my eyes.

"Kiss her!" Dez smiled from across the bonfire.

"Should I?" Austin asked laughing leaning in. "Or should I not?" He asks laughing leaning back out.

"Kiss her!" Trish shouts.

"I don't know.." He teased completely drunk leaning in again with a big goofy smile. "I'ma tease her."

"And I'm going to steal one." I said pulling him in by his collar and kissing him quickly.

"Five dollars!" He shouted taking another sip from his beer bottle, holding it in the same hand that his arm was wrapped around me with. "No stealing."

"I'll take this now." I said grabbing his bottle. "You make no sense." I laughed.

"Nooo." He whined.

"I'll drink the rest for you." I added taking a few gulps.

"Yaaaay." He said happy again.

"Let's take a walk?" I ask and he stands up, almost falling. "Wow drunker than I thought."

"Oops." He laughed his arm still wrapped around me but he's leaning to keep himself up.

"Austin!" I shouted as we almost fell. "You're too heavy for me to help you walk."

"Let's lay here." He said falling onto the sand. He spread his arms out. "Come here." I laid down besides him and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath of the cool air. "Do you want to talk?"

"Sure." I answer him. "About?"

"Everything and anything. How do you like therapy?" He asked.

"It's getting better and I'm starting to feel comfortable about it." I answered him drinking the last of the beer.

"I'm happy." He replied slurring his words.

"You're drunk." I corrected him.

"Happily drunk." He laughed. "I like you here in my arms, on the beach, under the stars."

"Me too." I answer. "Even if you're drunk, because otherwise you wouldn't allow us to be together like this. You get mad every time we end up sharing a kiss cause you want to wait till I finish therapy."

"It's for the best." He said pulling his arm back.

"Is it?" I ask lying on top of him playing with his hair, moving the blonde hair that swung above his eyes to the side.

"Maybe." He smiled biting his lips.

"You have beautiful eyes." I said looking deep into them.

"You have a beautiful everything." He said as I laughed a little, I gave him quick kisses on his lips and cheeks. His arms wrapped around my waist as I laid on top of him giving him kisses down to his neck. He pulled me into him closer and his hands roamed around on top of my skin tight jeans. He rolled me over so he was on top afterwards. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I answer him.

"Are you spinning the night?" He asked and I nodded.

"Can we book the motel just for the tonight?" I asked and he nodded.

**Later-**

"Another drink, Ally?" Trish said as she drove to the hotel a couple of blocks down from the beach.

"It's only my third." I shrugged as she parked in the driveway.

"Bye." Trish said unlocking the doors. "Don't have too much fun." She said making a disgusted face.

"Hah-hah." I laughed awkwardly.

"Night." Austin waved jumping out of the car in almost tripping. "Ally." He said grabbing my attention again.

"Yes?" I ask helping him stand up straight.

"I'm not sure about tonight." He said.

"Why not? Don't you want to?" I ask.

"Of course I want to." He says. "Do you?"

"Mhm." I answered shyly.

"You don't sound sure." He said.

"I am." I said.

"I'm sorta drunk." He laughed.

"I'm a little buzzed." I pointed out shrugging.

"Not tonight." He decided doing his best to hold the motel door open for me. "Let's just.. will you let me let you just sleep in my arms?"

"Of course." I answered. "I won't take advantage of you or pressure you into anything, mister drunk." I joked as I sat him down and checked in.

We stumbled into the motel room and Austin made his way to the bed. "I'm so happy we're here together." He smiled.

"Me too." I said lying next to him on the bed.

"When I was little, my favorite thing was to make tents with blankets." He laughed.

"Let's make one." I suggested getting up.

"You're such a princess." He laughed grabbing the blankets and sheets.

"I can't see anything." I laughed. "Turn the lights on."

"Nope. The dark is just fine." He said. "Shh." He added making me laugh.

We built the little fort and laid inside on top of the pillows, holding hands.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.

"No." I joked sarcastically.

"Can I steal one?" He asked.

"Wouldn't be stealing if I said yes." I said. He rolled over to his side and cupped the back of my head, lifting it up and kissing me gently and slowly, perfectly. He rolled over a little more till he was completely on top of me, giving me kisses on my neck until he started sucking on a small spot softly. His hand slide up my side till he reached my chest and grabbed my breast squeezing it and I let out a small moan as he sucked on the side of my neck as our bodies subconsciously started to lean into each other .

"No." He whispered getting off of me, shaking his head. "Good night, let's fall asleep now." He said softly.

I replied with a small kiss, then turning to my side and he wrapped his arm around my body pulling me in. He kissed me a few times on my cheek and played with my hair until I fell asleep.

**:3**


	23. Chapter 23

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

It's been another month of therapy and it's been going surprisingly well. Austin and even sometimes Trish join in and it helps me be more at ease and comfortable with talking. Most of the time I read what's in my journal entry summarizing the past week and my thoughts. I even showed them the song I dedicated to my mom I finally finished a few weeks back. I talked to her about Dallas, Cassidy, and Kira.

There are a few things I still keep private from her though. Like the nights I spend with Austin at his house, we sleep together but haven't had sex. I'm just glad he's eased up on us actually being together instead of waiting for my therapy program to end. My last one is next week! They finish school next week too, but won't be leaving till June. Austin's on his way now.. I'm going to sing him a song I wrote a few weeks back.

And I know by the end of the night, I will no longer be a virgin. I trust him with everything and he's seen me at my worst and still loves me. Thinking about wanting to make love with him takes me back to our first kiss, the one where he wanted to make sure I had my first kiss with someone who loves me and isn't using me.

I think about that kiss a lot actually. It was the sweetest gesture in the entire world because he cared about me then, as a friend, and now, as a lover. And apart of growing up is experiencing love with the person you love. And that person is Austin.

- Ally Dawson

"Austin's here!" My dad shouted from downstairs. I meet them both downstairs and tell my dad bye since he's leaving for work.

"Hey, Alls." Austin said greeting me with a quick kiss before my dad drives away. "Are you ready to show me the song?"

"Mhm." I answer him pulling him into the living room. "It's called Teenage Dream."

We sit down on the bench of the piano and I begin to play, a little slower so he could hear the lyrics perfectly.

_"You think I'm pretty_  
_ Without any makeup on_  
_ You think I'm funny_  
_ When I tell the punchline wrong_  
_ I know you get me_  
_ So I let my walls come down, down_

_ Before you met me_  
_ I was alright but things_  
_ Were kinda heavy_  
_ You brought me to life_  
_ Now every February_  
_ You'll be my Valentine, Valentine_

_ Let's go all the way tonight_  
_ No regrets, just love_  
_ We can dance, until we die_  
_ You and I, will be young forever_

_You make me feel_  
_ Like I'm livin' a_  
_ Teenage dream_  
_ The way you turn me on_  
_ I can't sleep_  
_ Let's run away and_  
_ Don't ever look back,_  
_ Don't ever look back_

_ My heart stops_  
_ When you look at me_  
_ Just one touch_  
_ Now baby I believe_  
_ This is real_  
_ So take a chance and_  
_ Don't ever look back,_  
_ Don't ever look back_

_ We drove to Cali_  
_ And got drunk on the beach_  
_ Got a motel and_  
_ Built a fort out of sheets_  
_ I finally found you_  
_ My missing puzzle piece_  
_ I'm complete_

_ Let's go all the way tonight_  
_ No regrets, just love_  
_ We can dance, until we die_  
_ You and I, will be young forever_

_You make me feel_  
_ Like I'm livin' a_  
_ Teenage dream_  
_ The way you turn me on_  
_ I can't sleep_  
_ Let's run away and_  
_ Don't ever look back,_  
_ Don't ever look back_

_ My heart stops_  
_ When you look at me_  
_ Just one touch_  
_ Now baby I believe_  
_ This is real_  
_ So take a chance and_  
_ Don't ever look back,_  
_ Don't ever look back_

_ I'm a get your heart racing_  
_ In my skin-tight jeans_  
_ Be your teenage dream tonight_  
_ Let you put your hands on me_  
_ In my skin-tight jeans_  
_ Be your teenage dream tonight_

_Yoooouuu_  
_ You make me feel_  
_ Like I'm livin' a_  
_ Teenage dream_  
_The way you turn me on_  
_ I can't sleep_  
_ Let's run away and_  
_ Don't ever look back,_  
_ Don't ever look back_  
_ No_

_ My heart stops_  
_ When you look at me_  
_ Just one touch_  
_ Now baby I believe_  
_ This is real_  
_ So take a chance and_  
_ Don't ever look back,_  
_ Don't ever look back_

_ I'm a get your heart racing_  
_ In my skin-tight jeans_  
_ Be your teenage dream tonight_  
_ Let you put your hands on me_  
_ In my skin-tight jeans_  
_ Be your teenage dream tonight.."_

"That was amazing." He said. "I love it."

"Thank you." I reply with a smile.

"Ally, you are my dream. Everything I have ever wanted and more. We really do complete each other. I love you." He said.

"Let's go to my room." I said.

Austin's POV

"Austin, I want to have sex with you. I'm ready." She whispered as we were making out on her bed.

"Are you sure?" I ask and she nods.

"You really are my missing puzzle piece and I know you love me and would never hurt me or lie to me." She said sure of herself.

"Right." I said breaking up the kiss feeling guilty.

"So, why'd you stop?" She asked confused.

"No." I responded. "Not yet."

"Why not?" She asked.

"Relationships and love aren't just about sex." I said.

"I know, but it's definitely a way of expressing it." She answered obviously had put thought into it.

"Not yet." I answer her and my phone rings. "Sorry." I mumbled pulling it out.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Did you tell her?" Trish asked.

"Of course not." I said as Ally played with her hair.

"Good. Me either." She answered.

"Yeah, we kinda promised that." I said glancing at Ally.

"Right, to her dad. I can't help but feel guilty about it. And I keep thinking you're going to end up telling her." She said.

"I won't." I answer.

"I can't believe in a week we're leaving." She said.

"I have to go, I kind of want to spend time with Ally now." I said and she understood saying bye.

"Anyways, Austin." She said.

"Soon, really, really soon, but not tonight." I said and she was stubborn about it, but agreed. "Promise me another thing?"

"What now?" She said a little grouchy.

"Next week you perform that song at the beach concert?" I ask.

"Maybe." She answered.

"Promise?" I asked again.

"Promise." She said giving in. "Always get what you want." She said under her breath but laughed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Next Week Thursday (May)**

Ally's POV

"What brings you here?" I asked from behind the Sonic Boom Counter as Austin walked in and greeted me with a quick kiss leaning over the counter.

"There's a certain brunette I like to spend my time kissing." He said as my dad walked by and stopped.

"She's working." He said and Austin laughed a little pulling back.

"Sorry." He said to my dad but winked at me. "So, how was your last therapy session?"

"Refreshing. We talked for a while about my life right now, but talked about my future instead." I answered.

"Blabbing on about me again?" He joked leaning over the counter to give me another kiss but my dad cleared his throat.

"Maybe." I answered walking out towards the stairs.

"Where are we going?" He asked following me up.

"I'm doing my job, which includes moving boxes. Fun, right?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'll help." He said picking up boxes. "So, I signed you up to perform."

"When?"

"Tomorrow night." He said and my stomach started to turn. "You're ready." He added.

"No, you're right, I am." I smiled feeling a tiny bit better.

"After you get off work, I want to talk." He said setting the box down.

"About?" I asked honestly just curious.

"I'll tell you later." He said walking out not even saying bye. Now I was worried.

**Later-**

"Trish?" I asked as soon as I heard someone pick up.

"Yeah, what's wrong? Is everything ok?" She asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just a little, worried I guess." I said.

"About?" She asked. "Aren't you at work?"

"It's my break." I answered. "So, Austin came in all happy and himself as usual, but said he wanted to talk after work and just left. I really don't know what that means because I've never had a boyfriend, but that's strange right?" I asked.

"A little but you never know what he might say, it could be nothing." She said. "It could be, oh, I don't know, just telling you something you might already know, just earlier." She laughed nervously.

"Uhm. Do you-"

"Gotta go, bye!" She said and hung up. So she knew too?

_Dear Song Book,_

"Ally, get back to work. Only a half hour left!" My dad said interrupting me.

"Kay." I answered as he walked up stairs and continued writing.

_Sorry haven't been writing so much but right now it's important. I'm worried._

"I'm serious." My dad said from up the stairs watching over me.

"Sorry." I said closing my book and started working again.

Austin's POV

"She called you?" I asked Trish.

"I told you not to make her worried about it!" She said smacking me.

"I didn't! I said it fast and left!" I said in defense as she gave me a 'are you stupid or are you stupid' kind of expression.

"When does she get off work?" She asked.

"In like ten minutes." I said checking the time on my phone.

"Look, I'm sure Ally's going to take it really well. So there's nothing to worry about. Ok?" She said.

"You're right." I smiled. "I hope." I frowned.

"Relax." Trish said.

Later-

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked as we sat down in the food court.

"Tomorrow's performance!" I said taking a bit of my pizza.

"Oh." She said. "What to perform?" She asked but it seemed pretty obvious we both just wanted to avoid what I was going to tell her.

"How about the song we wrote a few days ago." I suggested.

"Maybe." She said eating her pizza. "I've been working on a song, just for me, and I can have it done by tonight."

"I'll help if you'd like." I said but she shook her head.

"I kind of wanted to finish this song by myself. Sorry." She said shifting uncomfortably.

"It's cool." I smiled, but she still seemed a little uncomfortable. "So I'll hear it tomorrow, for sure?"

"Yes, Austin. I will be performing tomorrow night for sure." She said answering the real meaning of that question.

"When are you going to start working on the song? I'm still going over right?" I asked.

"Mhm. I'll just have to kick you out a little early." She joked. "So much to do, so jealous you guys are already done with school. The rest of us still have another month of school."

"That's one thing about graduating, school ends a month before the lower grades." I teased.

"At least I have you guys keeping me company everyday after school before you guys have to leave next month." She said half smiling.

I glanced away while chewing my pizza slowly. How the fuck was I supposed to tell her now?

"Is everything ok?" She asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I asked nervously.

"You're eating your napkin." She laughed pulling it out under from the bottom of my pizza.

"Gross." I said once tasting it.

"So, are you going to tell me what you want to talk about?" She said awkwardly.

"Uhhh." I answered. "Ok." I said exhaling loudly. "We're leaving."

"I know and I'm going to miss you guys so much." She said looking down. "But I have a month to prepare even more. And after, I-"

"This Saturday." I added as her expression went from a little happy to shocked. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

She now looked hurt and a little uncomfortable but shook her head and took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" She asked still a little sad but she was in control. No signs of anxiety.

"I was.. nervous." I answered back.

"My anxiety." She said with a sense of shame. "But I'm fine. I just wish I knew when you found out."

"I literally took forever wondering if I should tell you or not, but now I kind of have to." I said regretting I waited. "I'll be away settling in for a while but I'll come and visit when I can or bring you to spend a few days with me, Trish, and Dez."

She didn't respond and I could tell she was trying to hold herself together.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"No." She said getting up. "It's just really starting to sink in and I thought I would be able to handle it a little better."

"Ally, you are!" I said stopping her. "You are handling it way better than you know."

"Can you just take me home?" She asked and I nodded wrapping my arm around her.

Ally's POV

Dear Song Book,

I've hardly written in here, after a while of reading them out loud to my therapist, it was easier just to talk instead of writing. But instead of writing down another song, tonight it's going to be a real journal entry.

Austin told me they're leaving in a few days, this Saturday. It's starting to sink in, the idea of not seeing him everyday, being in his arms, giving him kisses.. I'm going to miss all of them so much. But it's for the best. He's going to take major in music and record some more music to try to get a record deal. I know he could do it, he will.

Tomorrow night I'm performing a new song I wrote, a song dedicated just for him. I rearranged some lyrics and added new ones, and it's finally finished. There's this one thing that's on my mind again that I can't stop thinking about. The fact that I'm back to being both sad and happy…but it's a sad kind of happy. Not the kind of sad when I first moved here.


	25. Chapter 25

**Friday**

Austin's POV

"I want tonight to be special." I said driving.

"Me too. Performing in front of a crowd, it's exciting but I'm really nervous. It's going to be a night I'll never forget." She said from the passenger side.

"Ally, I love you." I said glancing at her quickly. "I love your talent, and your beauty, and your dorky-ness, and the fact that you blush at every little thing."

She laughed and I kept my eyes on the road, knowing she was blushing. "I love you too, Austin."

"Tonight.. I think we're finally both ready." I said.

"Really?" She asked.

"Well, you love me right?" I chuckled.

"Of course." She answered holding my free hand.

"By the way, do I really have to wait to hear the song? I'm curious!" I said driving towards the beach.

"You are unbelievably impatient." She laughed in disbelief. "You have to wait."

**Later-**

"Are you sure?" I asked one more time.

"Seriously, you're the only one worried. And Ally is the only one who needs to be worried." Trish said.

"I'm fine. Singing in front of you guys wasn't even as bad as I thought." Ally answered defending herself. "Singing in front of a few more people will be fine. As long as they don't boo me."

"We'll be cheering louder than anyone who might be booing!" Dez said.

"Words of encouragement, only from us!" Trish said standing next to him, both with huge smiles.

"Wait. What if people don't like the song?" Ally freaked out as I glared at Dez and Trish.

"Sorry. We were only kidding." Dez said.

"They will love you, Ally." Trish said hugging her.

"Thanks, Trish." She said hugging her back. "Austin, I am a little nervous." She said after pulling out of the hug. "Do you think you could play the piano or something on stage while I sing?"

"Of course." I answered.

"When are you going on?" Dez asked.

"In a half hour." She answered. "You can learn it by then, right?"

"Of course." I replied.

"Let's get to work." She said.

"Lyrics too?" I asked hopeful.

"No!" She laughed. "Just the music part. You can't hear the lyrics till I'm on stage performing."

"Fine." I gave in.

**Later-**

"Ally Dawson!" I said into the microphone sitting at the piano and began to play. She nodded and I gave her an encouraging smile. She closed her eyes and took a breath and sang.

_"Friday night beneath the stars, _  
_in a field behind your yard, _  
_you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky. _  
_And sometimes we don't say a thing; _  
_just listen to the crickets sing. _  
_Everything I need is right here by my side. _  
_And I know everything about you I don't wanna live without you."_ She sang. I played the piano, by memorization now.

_"I'm only up when you're not down. _  
_Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. _  
_It's like no matter what I do. _  
_Well you drive me crazy half the time; _  
_the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. _  
_And I'm only me when I'm with you.."_ She sang to me facing the crowd.

"Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground." I mumbled still playing the piano.

_"Just a small town boy and girl livin' in a crazy world. _  
_Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true. _  
_And I don't try to hide my tears. _  
_The secrets or my deepest fears. _  
_Through it all nobody gets me like you do. _  
_And you know everything about me. _  
_You say that you can't live without me_." She sang this time looking at me, not sad like me, but with a smile.

_"When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself. Only you can tell."_ She sang, her voice flowing perfectly and sweetly.

_"That I'm only up when you're not down. _  
_Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. _  
_It's like no matter what I do. _  
_Well you drive me crazy half the time; _  
_the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. _  
_And I'm only me _  
_Who I wanna be _  
_Well, I'm only me when I'm with you _  
_With you  
Uh huh Yeah"_ She finished.

Ally's POV

"I can't believe I just performed!" I screamed jumping into Austin's arms when we ran off stage.

"I could! I knew you had it in you all along." He said as Trish and Dez met us.

"You did amazing, Ally! Everyone loves it!" Trish said hugging me. "I am so proud!"

"Thanks, Trish." I said hugging her tight.

"Perfecto!" Dez said giving me a quick tight hug.

"I feel amazing! I feel so free and so happy!" I jumped into his arms again. "Performing in front of a real crowd is so thrilling. I can't explain the feeling."

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Austin asked. "By the way, I can't believe you wrote that."

"You're my muse." I smiled but he frowned.

"I don't want to live without you either. I can't." He said referring to the lyrics a little mad but looked down at the ground really depressed.

I turned back around to Dez and Trish who took the hint.

"You did great! But me and Dez have to go." Trish said a little awkwardly.

"See you guys tomorrow morning." Dez said walking off with Trish.

"Austin-"

"Ally, I can't leave you here by yourself." He said cutting me off in frustration.

"Austin that song wasn't me asking for you to stay." I said walking closer and picking up his head with his chin.

"No." He said looking away laughing a little. "Of course it was." He said looking back at me as my hand fell to my side.

"I want you to go. Maybe not so soon, but I want you to." I said grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight.

"Everyday not seeing you." He said to himself looking away again, ignoring what I just said.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one taking this hard?" I asked giving him a small smile but he still didn't look back at me, wanting to be serious.

"I'm not kidding." He said finally looking back at me. "The whole time I was worrying about how you would take things and once I finally told you, you were upset but you were alright. Once I saw that you handled it, I didn't have to worry about you anymore. Ally, I was so busy worrying about you, I didn't once think about how I'd feel leaving you."

"I'm here with you know." I smiled but he still looked unconvinced.

"Just for tonight." He said looking down to the shore. "The sun is already going down."

"Then let's not waste anytime we have fighting." I said.

"I'm leaving you here alone. I'm the person who's hurting you but I don't want to." He said.

"You're not hurting me. I'd hate myself if I made you stay. That's not what I want. I want you to go work on music at college and get signed." I said smiling. "And anyways, you're not leaving me behind somewhere alone. You're going away for a while. And I'll be here, home, with my dad." I shrugged. "And by this time next year I'll hopefully be joining you in college."

"Hopefully?" He asked a little scared.

"I'm positive you're going to have a record deal by then." I laughed swinging our intertwined hands together playfully.

"Maybe you will too with the way you performed tonight." He said flirtatiously, all signs of sadness disappeared, as he leaned in and kissed me.

"Get a room." A girl said rolling her eyes walking by with a few friends who laughed.

"Ignore them." Austin smiled his face just an inch away from mines.

"I think I'd rather take their advice." I smiled kissing him again then leading him to the beach's parking lot holding his hand.

"I love you so much it's crazy but beautiful." He said laughing.


	26. Chapter 26

**skipped to the morning. eh I could barely write about people kissing so cant even write about them doing it loloollololllz .-. sorry.**

**Saturday**

Austin's POV

I played with Ally's hair watching her sleep peacefully under the covers with me. She was sleeping in my arms lying perfectly next to me, so small, warm, and comfortable. Every now and then she'd smile slightly in her sleep and mumble my name. The sun was shining through my dark blue curtains and lightened up my room. My phone rang and I picked it up quickly from the nightstand so the noise didn't wake Ally up.

"Yes?" I asked. The caller ID said it was my mom.

"Trish just got home with Dez to finish packing. You should start." She said then hung up.

I got up and looked at my room. There were boxes stacked up on the side and things I still needed to pack. I pulled the last pair of briefs from my drawer and put them on.

"Austin?" Ally asked quietly her eyes barely opening.

"Mhm?" I asked walking to the bed and giving her a quick kiss on her forehead. She sat up and covered her chest with the blanket. "Want a shirt?" I asked and she nodded. I handed her my favorite white v neck.

"Last night was perfect." She smiled after putting my shirt on. "But my hair is a mess." She laughed getting up and standing in front of me. She looked sexy but at the same time just really cute wearing my top and her underwear.

"You're hair is cute though." I said leaning in till our foreheads were touching.

"You're cute." She whispered as I grabbed her waist and pulled her in.

"You look sexy braless in my v neck shirt." I laughed kissing her nose.

"Austin? Are you up?" My mom asked through the door as Ally jumped back quietly.

"Yes mother, I am up!" I said back annoyed.

"I'm just making sure you have to leave by noon. Plus, your guy's friend Ally should be here soon." She said then I listened for her footsteps.

"I thought both of your parents were busy with work." Ally whispered yelled.

"My mom isn't that horrible to me and Trish, she probably ended up calling in sick since it's our last day here." I said rolling my eyes.

"I've known you for a while now and I've only seen your mother twice." She said finding her jeans and putting them on.

"No." I whined as she zipped them up. "You looked cuter with your little blue cotton undies and my v neck." I smirked.

"Shut up." She said annoyed with a smile. "Ok." She said looking around.

"What?" I asked looking around my room too.

"I need my bra." She said lifting up the covers and found it.

"No." I whined again making her laugh.

"I can keep your shirt though, right?" She asked.

"If I can keep your bra." I joked.

"No." She laughed putting it on under my shirt she was wearing. "What time is it?"

"Tenish." I said sitting down on my bed as she put a hoodie on top.

"Austin, you have so much packing to do. Get your lazy butt up." She said reaching her hands out. I grabbed them but pulled her onto the bed with me.

"We can just lye here instead." I said locking my arms around her waist.

"You need to finish packing and I need to write." She said getting up grabbing her bag.

"Write?"

"Mhm. Haven't really used my songbook slash journal as a journal in a while but I want to write one last time." She smiled pulling her book out.

For the next hour I moved boxes down the stairs and packed new ones. Ally laid on my bed writing in her journal and chatted with me as I cleaned.

"Breakfast." My mom said walking pass my room. We followed her downstairs meeting Trish and Dez.

"Morning." Trish greeted us.

"Have you finished packing?" Dez asked.

"Almost, just one more box." I said grabbing me and Ally plates.

"For your comic books?" Trish laughed high fiving Dez.

"They're collectable." I defended myself serving Ally a plate of pancakes and bacon.

"Thanks." She winked as I set the plate down in front of her.

We all ate breakfast and enjoyed our time together. The next time I'll be seeing Ally is in two weeks just for the weekend. I packed my very last box into the car in the front. Dez was driving with Trish and I was driving alone in my truck.

Dez and Trish left first. Ally said goodbye to them and hugged them both tightly. I kept thinking about how she'll be alone but I remembered she wasn't, she had her dad and said she'd be able to make friends at school.

"So this is it?" I asked standing in front of the driver's door.

"Nope." She shook her head. "I'll see you in two weeks." She rolled her eyes smiling.

"That's so long though." I complained.

"In the summer I'll be able to see you for longer." She kissed me. "Just remember that and you won't go crazy." She added laughing.

"Remember I'll be seeing you soon or remember that kiss?" I asked laughing.

"Both." She answered with another kiss.

"Your kisses make me go crazy though." I laughed in between kisses. "I should drive you home then leave." I said breaking the kiss.

"I lived in the opposite direction, that's backtracking. And anyways, a walk home sounds pretty nice." She said wrapping her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest.

"I love you, Alls." I said kissing her hair.

"I love you, Austie?" She asked then shook her head slightly laughing.

"Austin sounds better." I laughed with her.

"Here." She said reaching into her satchel and pulled out her two song books. "I want you to have them."

"Really?" I asked.

"Some of it's a little embarrassing, but most of it you already know." She said.

"Embarrassing?" I smiled raising my eyebrows.

"It's a little piece of me, ok?" She asked.

"Every thought and song though!" I said almost afraid of opening it, feeling like I was invading her personal thoughts, like I did that one time..

"I'm giving you permission." She rolled her eyes. "And it's not every thought. Think of it like.. a little excerpt of my thoughts."

I opened up the second page and skimmed through it but she shut it closed and opened her mouth to say something but shut it quickly, making me smirk.

"Sorry. Habit." She laughed. "Just don't read ahead. And no reading in the car."

"I promise." I said reaching into the car window and placing them on the passenger's seat. "I feel bad I didn't get you anything."

"Reading those books means everything to me." She answered hugging me.

"I don't want to let you go." I said hugging her back.

"I have work in an hour." She said. "I have to go."

"Me too." I whispered with a half smile.


	27. Chapter 27

**Lady16  
Peacefreakx3  
CrackFicGirl **  
**Singer103 **  
**& the guests & others ^-^ Thanks for the reviews :3 If it wasn't for you guys I'd probably would have deleted .-.**

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Austin's POV

It was the end of the day when mostly everything in my room was set up. I laid on my bed exhausted and remembered Ally's song books. Even though I had a lot to do tomorrow and had to wake up early, I wanted to stay up reading everything. I opened the first page to the first song book and began reading.

"What are you smiling about?" Dez asked from across the room bringing me back to reality.

"Ally." I answered.

"Her song book again, Austin?" He asked.

"Relax, she gave it to me to read." I said rolling my eyes.

"What part are you on?" He asked.

"The part where you shut up and let me read." I joked.

"I'm going to bed anyways." He said getting into his bed on the opposite side of the dorm room.

I read her first songbook and started on the next, yawning, but I couldn't stop reading. I thought I knew everything about her, but I didn't. And I guess she knew that and that's why she gave me these books. I learned a lot from just hanging out with her.. but reading her thoughts and thinking back throughout this school year of how she was changing everyday, it was more than just a diary. It was her entire life, filled with her likes, dislikes, random thoughts and scribbles, her regular printing and cursive depending on the tone of her writing, her theories, experiences, memories... everything.

I finally got to the very last page, and instead of it saying "Dear Song Book" like all the others, it said "Dear Austin"

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Dear Austin,

I will always remember this year that we met. Your smile and your touch. You can be anywhere when your life begins, when you find the right person and anything's possible. When the future opens up in front of you, and you may not even realize it at first but it's already happening. One of my biggest fears, and the one that irritated me the most, is when people judge. In my old town before I moved to Miami, I didn't like leaving the house because everyone in town would judge, feel sorry, ignore, or bully me. They had an idea in their head about who I was and nothing I could have done would have changed it. Most adults saw me as a sad girl who lost her mom. The people I went to school with saw me as the depressed freak who hurt herself. My old therapist saw what she wanted to see, a girl who was getting better. My dad saw me, really saw me, but couldn't do much because I wouldn't let him in to get better.

There's millions of people out there. But in the end, it all comes down to one. I still panic sometimes, forget to breath. But I know there's something beautiful in all of my imperfections. A beauty in which you held out for me to see, a strength that can never be taken away. I wanted so badly to stand up and shout out, have a voice and break down the walls. You were the one who encouraged me from the opposite side and helped me. And when I'm with you, you kinda make me not care what people think. You taught me to ignore the judgmental stares and to prove their theories wrong. I always wonder what you are doing with me. When I'm with you, I never know what's going to happen next, what adventure awaits.

So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons and maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things, and we can try to feel okay about them. I don't know if I'll buy another notebook to write in because I might be too busy trying to participate in life. Don't get me wrong, I'll still be writing my songs but making new friends and not spending everyday alone would be nice too. So I'm making this my last letter and I want you to know one thing. I was in a really bad place before I moved to Miami and started high school, but you helped me. Even if you have no idea what some of my journal entries or random writings are about, you reading everything is making me feel completely free.

Remember I said people accept the love they think they deserve? We're pretty lucky we both got way more than we imagined. I know we'll only see each other this summer hopefully every other weekend and sadly, hardly during the school year. But, I know you'll be signed onto a record deal in no time. It might take a few months, because you're amazingly talented so it should take less than a year, and I'll be by your side as soon as I graduate. Writing songs and maybe a few duets.

I know we'll all start out futures and go to college, some of us earlier than others. We'll all become old photographs and we'll all become somebody's mom and dads, aunts and uncles, or famous music video directors, managers, and singer/songwriters.. But when I performed with you on stage all those thoughts disappear. That moment when I look out to the crowd, everyone cheering and looking up at us together. That one moment when I know I'm not a sad story anymore. We're alive on stage, we stand up after the song ends slowly and we see the crowd's excitement and energy and everything makes you wonder. And I look back at you, standing up from the piano. The only person who captures my attention away from the screaming crowd. And you are my everything.

And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.

Love,

Allyson Marie Dawson

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**Part of the letter was obviously pulled from The Perks of Being a Wallflower (if you haven't read or seen the movie, go do it!) and the other part of the letter is from a movie called Crazy/Beautiful (one of my favorites! go watch it! Kirsten Dunst stars in it!) That's the end! Please review & tell me what you think! The ending is more like the book, NOT the movie.**


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